Hey internet, like a boomerang we have been away but now we are back! I have acquired a new co-host… internet meet Esther (applaud). So let’s write a blog…
Chris: Hey Esther welcome along to Mundanevision!
Esther: Hi Chris, thanks for having me!
Chris: Thankyou for accepting the position of co-host. This is a bit like the Apprentice… without the tasks. I haven’t been given a title (yet!).
Esther: Maybe we’ll come up with some form of title for you yet, Chris!
Chris: Are you saying you are the Queen, as only the Queen can knight people or give them peers?!
Esther: I can neither confirm nor deny my identity, I shall remain an enigma for now…
Chris: I’ve got an undercover Queen everyone! Somebody hold up a five pound note! (Chris holds up a five pound note next to Esther’s face). You do look suspiciously like the Queen…
Esther: Well I’ll take that as a compliment? (I think!)
Chris: It is a big compliment, as it means you get the Mundanevision royal box! We don’t have a real royal box, so you’ll just have to imagine it for now. If you imagine a box that makes it very easy to think outside of…
Esther: I’ll keep thinking outside that box, and perhaps eventually we’ll be able to get a real-life royal box as a reward for our outside-the-box thinking!
Chris: Your Majesty, if you have an old royal box knocking around that you don’t need it anymore, please do send it our way. Just scan it into the computer and it will get to us
Esther: Maybe the real Queen could have a word with her house staff and see if they know of a spare royal box hanging around. If not perhaps we could get one 3D printed or something…
Chris: Well the Queen does have an iPad, so maybe she has a printer too.
Esther: I’m not sure whether she’d be much of a dab hand on technology, given her age!
Chris: Conspiracy theory about the royal family: do you think the Queen is really present at the royal engagements she is supposed to attend, or is she just a hologram?
Esther: If we’re going to think down that route, perhaps the ‘real’ Queen is actually a hologram too?
Chris: Okay, change of topic before MI5 get onto us, I don’t want to be killed by a sniper, I’m too young to die. So I was thinking about how Disney is into updating fairytales. Like doing backstories for all their characters, and I think I’ve come up with one. Would you like to hear it?
Esther: Do tell, I’m intrigued…
Chris: Ok it’s a modern retelling of the Three Billy Goats Gruff story. Instead of walking over a bridge, and getting eaten by an actual troll, the Goat has an online presence, and someone keeps sending him really mean comments, meaning they’re internet trolls!
Esther: Wow… talk about relating to a modern-day audience! I’d love to have seen a Cinderella or Snow White facebook or instagram profile…
Chris: There’s no reason why we could make them one here and now! Ladies and gentleman, we present to you the Cinderella facebook page!
Esther: According to her photos, she really lets her hair down when she’s not looking for her Prince or glass slippers! Maybe we were better off knowing less about Cinderella after all…
Chris: I think her status would be: ‘I’m really sad today because I’m living with my step-mum and my step-sisters are so ugly!’ but I reckon she would ‘like’ the upcoming event that Prince Charming shared on his profile about the ball, and she’d click attending!
Esther: She’d probably invite all her Disney Princess friends to the event too. Maybe Belle and Jasmine? I bet they’d have a group chat on Messenger to decide what dresses they all wanted to wear.
Chris: I think Jasmine would say things like ‘can we take a plus 1? Is there room for my flying carpet in the car park? Aladdin is SO dreamy!’
Esther: Snow White would be cheeky and ask for a plus seven so she can bring along all her dwarves! Prince Charming’s event would soon be very busy at this rate
Chris: Yeah, I reckon Prince Charming might decline a plus seven for Snow White! A wicked witch would comment and accuse him of being dwarfish!
Esther: Well, you can’t please everyone. I can’t imagine wicked witches would be very welcome in his event anyway!
Chris: ‘Wicked’ doesn’t always bad, perhaps she’s the other kind of witch. For instance, that witch is so wicked, have you seen all the spells she can do?! In this day and age, wicked does mean cool.
Esther: Yes that’s true. The same thing has happened with ‘sick’, one upon a time it meant ill or unpleasant, but today it means cool! Maybe the traditional ‘Wicked Witch’ needs renaming to something more relevant today?
Chris: ‘I can’t come into work today, I’m sick’. ‘You are sick bruv! But you’ve still got to come to work!!’.
Time has run away with us, see you next week guys! Peace