Hello people of the internet! Welcome to the LAST Mundanevision for a little bit! But let’s not let that stop us from having fuuuuuuuun with words!
Chris: Hey Tash
Tash: Hey Chris! I don’t know what to say… I’m so happy to be sat here by you, but also so sad knowing it’s my last feature on this fantastic blog!
Chris: We are also very sad that you are leaving the world of Mundanevision…. the sloth went a bit overboard and set up a candle lit vigil for you. I don’t think he understands the principle of someone leaving- she’s not leaving this world, Sloth!
Tash: Gosh, I hope that isn’t some kind of sign. Of my pending doom??
Chris: Don’t worry, if the sloth tries to kill you he couldn’t get away cause he’s so slow!
Tash: That’s true. Thanks for reassuring me!!
Chris: Anytime! I am nothing but reassuring, in fact my next business venture will be a phone number that people can ring and I can reassure them! Oh wait, that’s the Samaritans!
Tash: There can never be enough phones to ring out there Chris! I say you put it out online and see what happens!
Chris: Are you sure?
Tash: Yes, I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. But, if you see random people following you, or people rining you at night telling you they have been following you- you might have to move!
Chris: I can move! I’m very fast! A bit like Maroon 5, I can move like Jagger!
Tash: Wow! Unlike me, who can’t run and won’t run to be honest! That’s why you might have to drag me along!
Chris: Who says anything about running? I will have a dance off with my attacker!
Tash: Well, in that case count me in! I can boogie real good!!
Chris: Let’s role play this now! So Tash, you be the attacker.
Tash (playing the attacker): * deep, intense voice*: Dude, yeah you. Give me your money or I will tickle you so had you will cry.
Chris (victim): *in high pitched voice*: you want my money? Well it’s not all about the money! Jessie J drop the beat! *starts dancing*
Tash (attacker): *very puzzled face, still a deep voice though*: wtf man, just give me you money, not some weird dance moves
Chris (victim): you still want my money? Beatles drop the beat *continues to dance*
Tash (attacker): *angry face*: You waste my time, and burn my eyes with bad dance moves. This is worse than listening to a Donald Trump speech! *walk away*
Chris: (victim): I think I successfully diffused the situation! Thank you and goodnight! *plays Elton John, I’m Still Dancing while skipping off down the road*
Tash: That was pretty cool, I will do that next time someone tries to steal my money!
Chris: Or, you could do it with people pestering you as well! All you need to do is relate what they say to a song!
Tash: Yes, I can sing Lily Allens ‘f you’, if someone is being rude. I can sing ‘Delicate’ when people aren’t being friendly to me. ‘We are never, ever getting back together’ to a random weirdo for the fun of it!
Chris: I can sing ‘Me’ by Taylor Swift to someone who’s not paying attention to me!
Tash: There are so many options! Then we can film it all, and create a Musical that we will stream on Youtube!!
Chris: A musical in 72 parts!
Tash: A reality-youtube Musical series!
Chris: Everyone is talking about reality TV!
Tash: I know… I can’t seem to get away from it… it’s everywhere!
Chris: When someone comes up to you and talks to you about it, just dance. Hopefully with the role play they will get so confused, they will walk off!
Tash: Or, if they’re a cool human being they might just even join you, or at least give you a beat to dance to!
Chris: I think we just saved any wars, just start dancing and people will love each other! Wouldn’t that be good?
Tash: I would definitely like that very much Chris
Chris: The reality show people are obsessed with at the moment is Love Island
Tash: ugh, don’t say those words….!
Chris: Why not, it’s a sure way of getting more views!
Tash: Maybe, I think people are too glued to the TV’s to read anything on the internet
Chris: Oh no! We need to help them by getting them unstuck from the TV
Tash: They should play a warning statement before an episode starts- warning you will not learn anything interesting/ lean any life lessons from watching these episodes.
Chris: An educational reality TV show! Wouldn’t that be something!
Tash: Yes, I think that’s something we should look into!
Chris: What would it be called though? any ideas?
Tash: A realistic reality show? Reality TV showing reality? or, We won’t make your brain cells pop and disappear?
Chris: We won’t make your brain cells pop sounds like a brilliant music quiz!
Tash: Oh yes! That’s true!
Chris: What do you think my reality TV show would be called if I had one?
Tash: Chris cracks you up- with the whole episode being you laughing in various spots around Devon!
Chris: You will have you be involved as well! Us laughing in various spots!
Tash: Well of course! I will produce it as well!
Chris: It would be very hard to pitch an episode to any prospective TV channels, I can imagine meeting with them and laughing in their face
Tash: We might have to show some seriously good self control
Chris: Or just need to fill the room with laughing gas before we go in??
Tash: That’s an idea!
Chris: You know you were telling me earlier that they can’t build a house cause bats live there, does that mean that the bat cage is a national heritage site. Is that why batman has to keep coming back in more films? He needs money for the upkeep….
Tash: I think you might have just cracked it Chris!
Chris: That’s what my reality TV show should be called! Might have just cracked it Chris!
So, Time has run away from us again! Stupid time, it forgot to dance! Tash, any last words?
Tash: Just thank you for everything, thank you to our lovely viewers for such a wonderful response. Please continue reading this blog, Chris is the one who makes it so great and special! Will miss not being behind the screen producing, but can’t wait to continue reading!
Thank you very much to TASH! I couldn’t do this without her! You have brought a special dimension to it, which I don’t think I would have had without you! And thank you to our audience for their continuous reading of my words! I am so humbled! See you very soon guys and girls! Peace!
Hey!!! We’re back! Did you miss us? I like to think so!
Chris: Hey, Natasha!!!
Tash: Hey Chris! What’s up?
Chris: The sky and above that, the ozone layer! I’m not sure what is about that, but it’s something! What’s new with you?
Tash: Not much. Recently got back from Croatia which was amazing, I’ve also been spending a lot of time in London. Excited to be back, but it has been raining too much. So much that I have decided to blame Brexit and Trump
Chris: Yes, the weather is crying because it doesn’t want Brexit to happen. It also doesn’t want Theresa May to go! But, she has to go. It’s June now!
Tash: Yes, I’m sure right now she’s on a fabulous holiday relaxing after a really stressful year!
Chris: Do you think she has gone back to Brussels?
Tash: I don’t think she will ever want to go back there, not even on a free trip!
Chris: Or even a Brussel Sprout for Christmas dinner
Tash: She doesn’t even want a EU Belgium passport, nothing related to Brussels- I’m sure it’s her least favourite place in Europe, if not the entire planet.
Chris: Do you think when buying magnetic letters, she’d take of the ‘e’ and the ‘u’
Tash: I don’t believe she has any children, so that’s one thing she won’t have to worry about!
Chris: Who knows, there might be secret children
Tash: People hide money in tax havens, so I don’t see why they wouldn’t hide children either?
Chris: In off shore kindergartens!
Tash: Yes, probably!
Chris: You went to go and see the Phantom of the Opera recently
Tash: Yes, that’s true! We got very discounted tickets- that was my second ever London show which was really exciting. I did really enjoy it, the singing was really incredible! Have you seen it before?
Chris: I’ve seen it on normal TV, not netflix!
Tash: And what did you think of it?
Chris: I thought it was good, although they should named it Phantom of K Pop. To get in the younger audiences!
Tash: I have a feeling you have discovered your next project… you will be writing a play/ musical!
Chris: or, Phantom of Grime! That would make a great cleaning product!
Tash: You have even come up with a new business venture-good for you!
Chris: Yes, I need to go on Dragon’s Den!
Tash: Well, everybody. Get ready and stay tuned to see Chris revolutionise the cleaning/ bleach industry very soon!
Chris: Cleaning the musical
Tash: Can’t wait to see it!
Chris: The one thing is, there will be no strong langauge. It will be very clean! Would you invest in my product?
Tash: Of course, always keen to help!
Chris: Or would I need to talk about turnover, because I’m not very good at baking.
Tash: Finances will get better with time, everyone has to really practice their maths before you get better at it
Chris: Or I need to invite Carole Vauderman, then it will be no problem!
Tash: Well, in that case it’s time to get recruiting!
Chris: How do be recruited for Dragons Den, Dragons Den needs you!
Tash: I can’t wait to see you on it!
Chris: You know what, this is the penultimate episode of Blogosode!
Tash: Wow! I remember when I came for the first time. How time flies. I hope the audience has enojoyed their time reading our conversations
Chris: Of course they have!
Tash: Well, then I am very happy. Though, really sad to be leaving of course. I will definitely carry on being a loyal fan and read what you get up to next!
Hey guys! Cooler than an iceberg with sunglasses on, this is MUNDANEVISION! It is a Friday, and it’s going to be a good one!
Chris: Hey Tash!!
Tash: Hey Chris, how are you today?!
Chris: I am good! It is, the sun is shining outside the studio windows, the sloth is hibernating because of the heat so we have to keep our voices down not to wake him!
Tash: That may be difficult because my laugh is rather than loud! Can’t deny just how beautiful the weather is today! Perfect for a sprite and an ice cream on Cathedral Green!
Chris: Where is this Cathedral Green that you speak of?
Tash: Not far from here, also by the club
Chris: We should explain what ‘the club’ means for those not in our head! Tash and I have developed alter egos, haven’t we? Would you like to explain or should I…?
Tash: You’ve started that explanation so accurately, I think I will leave the explaining to you…
Chris: So, for some reason, Tash’s new name is Gary. I call Tash Emma. When asked about the characteristics of Emma, I say Emma goes…
Tash: TO THE CLUUUUUB!
Chris: To which Gary responds, ‘Oh ma gaaaaad, you go to the club too??’
Tash: So now it’s a fairly popular joke that we like to go clubbing
Chris: Every one of our readers/listeners will use ‘in the cluuuuub’
Tash: And it’s absolutely mandatory that it is said with that much enthusiasm and commitment!
Chris: Yes, if we catch anybody saying with less commitment then that, we will come round to where-ever you live and tickle you!
Tash: Yes, and we actually mean it!
Chris: One of the hashtags for this blog post is ‘in the club’!!
Tash: Absolutely Chris! But, other than clubbing, what have you been up to?
Chris: There was a brilliant documentary on climate change last night! Everyone should watch it, so that they can be clued up on just how much we’re destroying our planet…
Tash: Yes, it’s definitely devastating! What was the most interesting fact you heard last night?
Chris: I was astounded to learn that a sheet of ice the size of a football pitch is melting in Greenland every 45 seconds…
Tash: Really? Now that’s so shocking and so heartbreaking…
Chris: Don’t you think it’s ironic how it’s a gloriously hot day, the day after the David Attenbourgh documentary aired?
Tash: Fate manifests itself in the funniest of ways and coincidences. What stresses you out more- climate change or brexit ?
Chris: Brexit, because nobody can decide what to do. As they have the power to change it now, but they’re not doing anything.
Tash: I was always extremely worried about climate change, even when I was extremely young. I remember at 8 watching a documentary and crying when I saw polar bears suffering, and then being really scared when they said how many countries we would lose if all of the glaciars melted!!
Chris: I don’t think we should be scared, this is a safe place. Nothing can hurt us, this is MUNDANEVISION. Even if the sea’s rise outside the window as we’re typing, we are safe, computers can float right?
Tash: I suggest we go out and get ourselves a wonderfully waterproof and water-resistant computer. Then we can just chill on the waters and continue sending wonderful blogosodes!
Chris: It’s a rather scary image that I’ve popped into my head; ice floating in the middle of the ocean, and us typing away!
Tash: Yes, it would be a wonderful opportunity to interview some rather unusual oceanic species… even David Attenbourgh would be jealous that he didn’t get that chance….
Chris: Yes, as we try to bring entertainment to the world; as it crumbles around us!
Tash: Or maybe the word ‘melting’ would be better suited…!
Chris: But, then we would need to stop the blogosode in a second to rescue sea creatures! And we would sleep by polar bears and a seal rather than a sloth!
Tash: Yes, and if we’re seriously lucky, perhaps a fabulous whale would join us?
Chris: They’re too big, they would take up the ice!
Tash: It could just float beside us, protect use from other massive icebergs!
Chris: Is that the world of the future, the remaining blogs and TV floating on sheets of ice…
Tash: Well, I would hope for at least a floating house. That might be a bit more comfortable, and we could then invite plenty of sea creatures over for dinner!
Chris: If we want to stop this nightmare-ish vision from happening, please do something about global warming!
Tash: And if not, don’t worry. There might be space on our floating ice sheet/ floating house for you!
Chris: Okay, with that vision in your head we will see you next week! Peace!
Chris: Hey people of the internet! What is that sound…? YES! It’s Mundanevision pulling into the station of your eye sockets! Hope you’re having a great day where you are! Let’s do this! HEY NATASHA!
Tash: HEY CHRIS, how are you doing?
Chris: I’m great! It’s so sunny and warm, and weird in this studio. I love it!
Tash: I love being here as well! It feels like I’m away on a very exotic holiday, too sunny for England!
Chris: On the day like today, don’t you wish that all houses had convertibles roofs so you could slide the roof back of your house!
Tash: Oh yes, I could definitely do with that… I wouldn’t mind having that done if someone did it for me for free. Are you stepping forward as a funder?
Chris: Maybe we should set up a kickstarter page?
Tash: Yes, a GoFundMe page where we highlight how I’m a stressed, sad student in desperate need of some vitamin D to graduate! That will surely gain international attention… or maybe not!
Chris: Yeah! I think that will get people donating loads of money to our case!
Tash: Great, I’m so excited for my new room!
Chris: I could go out, so I don’t really need this. But, you can’t exclude me!
Tash: But Chris, in times like these don’t you think a student like me needs it more?
Chris: I do think you need it more, but, I think it too because I like playing with buttons and switches…
Tash: Oh, alright then! You’ve won me over. That’s a really good point, I’ll happily come over more often in that case to get me some vitamin D
Chris: For those of you who are wondering what the buttons and switches are used for, we would need something to make the roof move back and forth
Tash: Yes, only technologically advanced people can operate such devices- so sadly this is limited to those with superior tech skills!
Chris: And the sloths!
Tash: Yes, of course. How could I forget about the sloths!
Chris: Well, talking about things that are retractable- Brexit has been extended. Hurrah!
Tash: Yes, now I can confidently say it’s an absolute and utter disaster, and a huge mess! I’m proud to say that my life is more put together than the case of Brexit!
Chris: I wonder if they will make a film about Brexit in a few years
Tash: It’s going to take more than a few years to sort this mess out! Maybe in like 10
Chris: Or maybe it’s just an episode of Deal or No Deal?
Tash: Even the craziest and stupidest TV shows out there are better organized in comparison sadly, let’s hope that changes soon!
Chris: Maybe they need a kickstarter?
Tash: What they need is a miracle!
Chris: I’ve often wondered why kickstarter is called a kickstarter. Is it like a Mexican wave that you kicked, and so started? Then, somebody else kicks and so forth.
Tash: To me it sounds like that big nudge from your friend for you to start and finish your starter before the main arrives!
Chris: Or, it could just be every game of football ever? In other news, scientists have looked inside the black hole!
Tash: Yes, I saw a rather cool photo of it in the news this morning!
Chris: Have they released another one, or is it just the one?
Tash: I think it’s just the one for now! Maybe they’re planning on creating a 2020 calendar so are keeping photos from us?
Chris: Or, a series of commemorative stamps!
Tash: In a profit-loving economy, I really wouldn’t be surprised!
Chris: Although the stamp idea wouldn’t work. Can you imagine posting your letter with a black hole… it would never arrive!
Tash: I feel like a black hole is necessary when you’re about to make some seriously poor informed decisions over text… then a black hole should appear and make them disappear!
Chris: A black hole sounds mundane, a supernova sounds great! It’s a supernova, it’s not just a nova it’s super!
Tash: Now we’re talking! I don’t want to walk around with some petty black hole, I want something spectacular, a supernova!!!
Chris: Why is a supernova not a superhero?
Tash: Cause famous producers haven’t yet met me, or been inspired me… that’s the problem you see Chris!
Chris: If there are any high-powered producers reading these blogosodes than we have our next superhero!
Tash: Yes, I’m not cheap so be prepared to pay a lot of money for a very special character!
Chris: What would it’s super power be?
Tash: Being significantly better than your average human and knowing it!
Chris: We just played a game of super-super, I lost to super cheese greater… how can you beat that, with a super egg beater of course! We should explain the rules of this game to the people who aren’t in our heads…
Tash: So, the premise of the game is to destroy the opponent by making them laugh extremely hard at your suggestion of a super object! Super toilet roll, super shaving foam… you have to get a creative. But when victory is yours, life feels great and it’s SUPER!
Chris: It sounds like a great game for everyone! I would encourage readers of this blogosode to join us in a game of super super! Let us know in the comments below what was the winning super object! I will start off… super gorilla.
Tash: I say….super Brexit!
Chris: Quick run! super Theresa May
Tash: Super female changing room
Chris: Super record store
Tash: Super builders bum
Chris: Super building site
Tash: Super black hole
Chris: Can you do any better internet? Let us know! And with that, the crazy train is about to depart! Everyone on the crazy train! Why are you covered in liquid? Did you board the gravy train instead? Till the next time we meet, super peace!
Chris: Hello, people of the internet! Welcome to Mundanevision, the one place where one vote counts for the majority! Let’s do it! Hello Tash!
Tash: Hey Chris! So amazing to be back, what’s been going on?
Chris: Well, we were out just now strolling around and we saw two coffee cups randomly left at Wilko’s! Let’s discuss.
Tash: Well, I don’t know what your theory is, but I reckon those two coffee cups are whats left of what can only be described as a disastrous first date. Where the girl found it was going so badly, she stole the date’s coffee and hid in a lift drinking it to feel better about the 45mins of life she will never get back. And then ran off- leaving the cups in the lift so that the date would find it and now it’s time to go home, cause she’s gone! But that’s just my theory…. what do you think?
Chris: Well my theory is the coffee cups were dating and decided that a lovely first date would be in a wilkinson’s elevator! They were enjoying each others company you know?
Tash: Yes, I can confirm the best dates are always in an elevator! Very romantic, so exciting- are you going to go up or down? Who will walk in? When will they walk in? So adventurous! Love it!
Chris: It’s up to other people, coffee cups can’t chose where they go!
Tash: That’s true, they were lucky in that case!
Chris: Anyway, in days of gender fluidity- why can’t coffee cups date? It might be argued that they are fluids themselves…
Tash: I see what you did there! Very funny! I agree, just because we don’t understand their language doesn’t mean they don’t have one, and so that they can’t be dating, studying, living life etc etc!
Chris: The only thing that worries me about these coffee cup dates that we intruded on is that they were both called Greg- how confusing!
Tash: I’d say romantic! It was always meant to be! Love the name Greg as well, they must have very cute nicknames for each other!
Chris: It was very romantic and cute, the good thing about cups of coffee is that they can stay up late and never feel tired!
Tash: That’s true, I’m curious as to whether they were recyclable and so, earth-friendly? That’s the question!
Chris: I’d like to think that one of them brought a sandwich as a chaperone!
Tash: I didn’t see one, sounds like they left the sandwich on ground level and eloped on a secret date… I don’t think I want to know the details!
Chris: I like to think that the sandwich/ bagel/ pastry jumped off when he realized how well they were getting on!
Tash: Or even better, that a certain lovely fellow sandwich/ bagel/ pastry caught their eye and whisked him/ her off on an adventure!
Chris: I would love to know in pick and mix section, if the coffee cups were dating!
Tash: I’d like to think they were!
Chris: Anyway, we should not speculate anymore! The coffee cups are private individuals and they’re sensitive- we shouldn’t crush their spirits!
Tash: I agree, we don’t want to put added pressure on their very new-forming relationship/ friendship!
Chris: I knew it was a date, when you’re just going out you don’t want to put labels on things!
Tash: That’s a very good point!
Chris: Anyway, away from the polystyrene dating theme! What else is going on that we want to tell the people of the morning/ afternoon/ evening depending on when you are reading this! Well we bought some new snacks which we have never tasted before! We thought for all of you, we will give you instant reactions of what we think…!
Tash: Yes, it’s a new segment in the show. What have we got to eat?
Chris: We have got Monty Bojangle’s Scofflets for myslef and a Creme Egg, who has lived in the UK for three years but failed to ever have one!
Tash: I’m so excited! Let’s eat!
Chris: I’m sad cause you waited for so long, that it’s now American!
Tash: Woops, my bad!
Chris: I don’t know where Monty Bojangles has come from…
Tash: I can only guess…
Chris: I tried a Mr Bojangles which you can buy from any sweet shop! It was nice, it was caramel-y, biscuit-y! I mistook the caramel for coconut which we won’t talk about! I’m such a food connoisseur ! Tash, would you like to talk the internet through what you ate?
Tash: Would love to! I had a very nice Creme Egg, turns out you need to bite it- there’s some random gooey stuff in the middle, so this is child friendly but certainly a messy business! Tastes good, not expensive, can be bought just about everywhere! I’m a satisfied customer for sure!
Chris: We’re both satisfied customers! I hope the outside world is satisfied with this blogosode! See you next week! I will leave you with one word: caramel, not coconut! Peace!
Chris: Hey guys! It’s a Saturday, at least where we are! We haven’t left the EU, which is good because I rather like vowels! Okay, it is your weekly outlet for the strange and mundane! Hey Tash!!
Tash: Hey Chris! So happy that I’m back!
Chris: Yes, you impressed us so much last week I decided to have you back on the blogosode! So, welcome back! There should’ve been a confetti canon there, but we spent our money on cake instead!
Tash: That’s okay, cake trumps confetti canons any day of the week!
Chris: I feel we can’t use the word “trump” any more without alluding to American politics.
Tash: I try to make a conscious effort to forget about Donald Trump…
Chris: But you can’t do it, I will show you what I mean. The trumpet used to be an instrument, but now it’s just a small female version of Donald Trump!
Tash: I see what you did there! Very funny!
Chris: Yes, that’s Mundanevision! As long as someone gets it! So, we went out just before the blogosode and I had a vegan sausage roll, courtesy of Greggs! Thank you Greggs!
Tash: I know that they sparked a lot of controversy, I personally think they are really good!
Chris: I really like them, they are so good that I am officially declaring them “snack of the show”!
Tash: Wow! What a privileged position sausage rolls now hold in this show… they better not be getting more publicity than me….
Chris: But only, vegan ones! Not really sausages! I don’t want to upset any Frankfurters though!
Tash: I think we should have a whole variety; vegan sausage rolls, regular meaty sausage rolls, gluten free sausage rolls, pastry-free, sausage free- a diverse set of sausage rolls for every persons needs and dreams!!
Chris: Okay, I amend my previous statement! Can I get a drum roll please! We are now a foodie-inclusive snack blogosode!
Tash: How fantastic! We really are changing the scene for show-time snacks, I’d even call it revolutionary!
Chris: Have you even seen a pecan pie or pecan pastry leading a revolution? It cannot be done!
Tash: A revolution doesn’t have to be similar to the ones we have seen in the past, it can be revolutionary in its own right and in accordance to the perspective of some…!
Chris: Have I got revolution mixed up with sequal, I thought it was meant to follow on from something else! Anyway, I would give the vegan sausage roll a 9 / 10!
Tash: I have to agree, I really do like occasionally buying myself a cheeky vegan sausage roll!
Chris: A cheeky sausage roll? Did it tell you any bad jokes?
Tash: Nothing quite as funny as watching politics nowadays!
Chris: I agree, if we leave the EU how will we spell certain words if we weren’t allowed an E or U!
Tash: Maybe that’s why we can’t agree on a deal, it’s just too difficult!
Chris: Well, agree has two e’s in it! That’s why we can’t agree!
Tash: “Reject” also has two e’s, so we really are very screwed!
Chris:: And we can’t vote either cause that has an e as well!
Tash: Not to mention hope has an e as well! So there’s not much hope either!
Chris: If we don’t have hope, we will be hopping everywhere!
Tash: That sounds more productive to what’s going on now…
Chris: Productive has an e! How could we write this fantastically funny blogosode?
Tash: There would be no chance of it sadly, unless we get very creative…
Chris: How dare you bring the creative word in, we’re not creative here!
Tash: That’s the point, we will have to start being creative unless something changes!
Chris: Somebody get me the Prime Minister!
Tash: Oh yes, Chris! Yes! 🙂
Chris: Somebody should get a one way ticket to Brussels, and they can’t come back until a decision has been made!
Tash: Don’t look at me…. I’m not volunteering.
Chris: Let us know in the comments below if you are, we’ll arrange it for you! Okay guys, that’s it for another week! I’m off to take picture of a Greggs vegan sausage roll and mount it in my studio! See you next week! Peace!
Hey guys! Mundanevision is back! I know there has been a long leave of absence, but they say absence makes the heart grow fonder! Did you miss the show? I hope so! If not, I am sorry you have come to the wrong place.
Ladies and gentleman, introducing my new co-host and typist…….. NATASHHHAAAAA (otherwise known as Tash).
Chris: Hey Tash, welcome to Mundanevision HQ!
Tash: Thanks Chris, I’m so happy that you brought me here- haven’t been here before!
Chris: You make me sound like I kidnapped you and drove you here!
Tash: Not going to confirm or deny….
Tash: So tell me Chris, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being your happiest and 1 being a lost potato, where have you been lately on the scale??
Chris: I would say I’m a 9, I’m a content cauliflower.
Tash: That’s great, I’m a potato dreaming of becoming a cauliflower!
Chris: I’m so glad we’re back, when the rest of the world is moving on beyond blogs and listening to podcasts, I’m so happy we’re still blogging!
Tash: Me too! Otherwise this will be my only appearance! Not enough to become famous and to land a role in a celebrity TV show where they will pay me millions to pay back my student loans!
Chris: To be honest, since you’re only typing you’re not going to be famous but the fingers that are typing!
Tash: As they say, “money is money”, I will take that! Kind of weird, but okay…
Chris: *intense laughter* Well, welcome to mundanevision! Did no-one warn you about this? This is a very strange blog!
Tash: I wasn’t warned, but I never thought my fingers would feel so self-conscious and under so much pressure…!
Chris: The sloth did try and warn you, but you walked off before he finished his sentence.
Tash: Never trusted that sloth, he always stared at my fingers… now I know why… he was jealous of my ability of being a keyboard wizz,! He wants to be the star of this show, he wants to have the prized and million pound worthy fingers, but no! He is a sloth that is eternally attached to the lamp that let’s be honest, you don’t use!! Haha
Chris: But he produces the show! He is the producer!
Tash: But I’m the star! No, I’m joking. Mr/Mrs/ preferred of being referred to- I appreciate you for finding my talented fingers, and I enjoy your company as I type. As I do enjoy your company, Chris. You are a funny lad, with funny ideas and funny dreams. Let’s talk about them some more!
Chris: Okay, this is the weirdest episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians I’ve ever been a part of!
Tash: You would know, I know you watch it all the time!
Chris: No I do not watch KUWTK, as I can’t keep up with it- it’s like 16 seasons or something!
Tash: That’s true, so much that I don’t even bother trying to keep up!
Chris: I think it’s even longer than Game of Thrones!
Tash: Another series I don’t watch! Sadly, I have to admit this now. I’m cool in my own way, I have no idea about any “in trend” stuff people watch right now. Surely Friends is timeless though?
Chris: It is! I have to admit, I don’t watch Game of Thrones or any other derivatives of the show like the card or board game versions. Now that we have spoken about your fingers and the TV shows that we don’t watch, I have new co-host of the blogisode, is there anything that you would like to bring to the table for immediate discussion?
Tash: Yes, Brexit. Just joking, never! What could we talk about… let me think. How about “being your own friend”, about self care and being content with your own being and your place in the world! I was inspired by, shameless plug, your heart-warming and upcoming new novella (keep your eyes open for when it is released!).
Chris: Brilliant! This is very deep.
Tash: Too deep for a Tuesday?
Chris: I don’t know, how is the ocean level on a Tuesday? I’ve never looked!
Tash: So what is your favourite of way of treating yourself/ favourite “me time” activity?
Chris: Me time? Have you been reading self help books?
Tash: Oh Chris, you underestimate my intellect! My extensive curiosity, not sure whether to be shocked or deeply insulted… I’m joking though! I feel like recently in the media there has been a lot more talk about these topics, which I’m very thankful for and is incredibly important.
Chris: Thank you media! Sloth, can we send a thank you basket to the media please? I know what we would put in it. What would we put in our gift basket to thank the media? It can’t be too nice! So many like, some fairy cakes and some plain paper, so they can think about what they are writing a bit more before pressing “publish”
Tash: Chris, I completely agree!
Chris: I write blogepisodes which make me get all of the weird stuff out onto the internet. I listen to music and read, write and video edit!
Tash: That sounds so great! You sound like you really enjoy many different things. I like to go out when I can for a lovely meal with a friend or by myself, but I haven’t been in ages! I can’t wait to find the time to try out a new restaurant in Exeter!
Chris: Talking about finding the time. I’ve found an incredible game which I’m giving the internet to try out for me. So, one of you goes round with alarm clocks and conceals them around the town/village and the other person has to find them! Hence, you really are finding the time!
Tash: Wow! Who knew you were such a jokester! Give us your best joke on the spot now. The countdown commences…
Chris: What did one spot say to the other spot in the nightclub? I really like your popping moves.
Tash: I should never have asked… wow! haha! Very original though!
Chris: You just wait and see, everyone will be telling that joke tomorrow! I’m such a trendsetter. All right Tash, if you think you can do any better Tash: GO!
Tash: This is a special joke for a wonderful friend, who will know who he/she is when he/she hears this… How many apples grow on a tree? All of them! And a special shout out to my very special, wonderful, amazing, caring and loving friend, who I love very much!
Chris: Wow! This is a specially brewed joke!
Tash: I know you’re jealous that I didn’t dedicate my joke to you…
Chris: It;’s like a Lionel Richie song, ” Tonight, I dedicate my joke to you!”
Tash: You bet, but so much more romantic!
Chris: I think we better end the blogepisode here before we get too romantic talking about Lionel Richie songs, thank you Tash! I will see you next week! Thank you internet, I will hopefully see you next week!
Hello internet! In an uncertain world, we’re not sure either, it’s Mundanevision!
Chris: Hey Siri!
Siri: Heya Chris. What’s going on?
Chris: What’s going on is it’s a new day and a very positive start to the world
Siri: Why is that?
Chris: Because of the vote, did you not see?
Siri: Hmm no, I must have missed it. The vote on Love Island?
Chris: The vote on Love Island?! I don’t watch Love Island, I’m about 40km North on Apathetic Islands.
Siri: And I’m right with you there. Oh, I guess you’re talking about the vote on Theresa May’s deal, huh?
Chris: Shh, if we don’t talk about it, maybe they’ll go away. Just ignore it.
Siri: An interesting new strategy, and I highly recommend it to the government too. Just ignore Brexit.
Chris: It’s like that irritating guy from IT round the water cooler – if you ignore him, maybe he’ll go away! But then you find out that the irritating guy from round the water cooler is Bill Gates, and the world is microsoft – it’s everywhere!
Siri: I thought I saw too many windows.
Chris: But we are not going to talk about the vote, because I think that every other blog, facebook, twitter, etc, is going to talk about the vote, so if we talk about the vote too then that will be like too many votes for the vote.
Siri: So true. And let’s also not talk about Jeremy calling a vote of no confidence. Let’s call the whole thing off, and forget about it. SO, what else is happening with you Chris, besides a loss of faith in our country?
Chris: I have started writing another story but I’m in the very early stages so shh, don’t tell anybody. Oh! I shouldn’t mention it on this blog considering this gets published on the internet. Oh well! In other news, Youtube are taking down some videos. I feel it’s about time Youtube took down some videos before uploading them, they’re like the Netflix equivalent of an internet based service, and it’s not Netflix!
Siri: You’re not wrong there!
Chris: Which, let’s face it, it’s very hard to find a service or show which is not on Netflix.
Siri: I tried to catch up with the new season of Delicious, but I can’t find that anywhere online.
Chris: Not even on Netflix.
Siri: Not even.
Chris: Wow, I feel like the makers of that show should be commended. You’re not on Netflix!
Siri: I did watch an interesting show on Netflix recently called You though.
Chris: ME? I wonder what that documentary was about!
Siri: Yes, you! It was called Chris the creepy stalker murderer. A story of your life. Much like OJ Simplson Made in America, but with more dead people and creepy behaviour.
Chris: If I start watching You on Netflix, does that mean I get a story about you?
Siri: Yes, it’s basically just Google Earth’s filming of me 24/7. Google Earth’s cameras are everywhere. Always taking pictures.
Chris: You would think they’d run out of film really.
Siri: Maybe they have? Maybe they are using the skin of their victims for more film?
Chris: Wow. Bit dark.
Siri: So is England in winter.
Siri: Anyway, Google is very suspicious. I don’t trust them, they have too much of our data.
Chris: They can’t get any data on me! I keep changing.
Siri: Go on…
Chris: I have no idea what that means. If anybody knows what it means, please comment on this blogisode.
Siri: We have faith in you, world! Decipher Chris’s weird words.
Chris: Actually if you’d like to leave reviews of the blogisode, please feel free to do so. Please don’t be too harsh though, we know Netflix is very popular and of course there are other streaming services other than Netflix. What about Now TV?
Siri: I’m a big fan of BBC iPlayer, Amazon Prime and best of all, Plex. I wish I had Now TV though.
Chris: Yes, so as a streaming service you are not forgotten, don’t worry. Neflix can’t in-capsulise the world in it’s net of flicks. there’s films on Youtube too! You can download films from Facebook Live too!
Siri: It really is a brave new world. Except politically, but as we said, we won’t go into that. Instead let’s talk about something else… FOOD?
Chris: Food is delicious, and delicous is on Now TV! God! I’m back onto streaming services again. Quick, 4oD, catch me up!
Siri: At least we’re not talking about Brexit. OH NO. Now we are. Quick! I love chocolate bananas, don’t you?
Chris: Oh Siri, have you mentioned Breakfast again? do you think Break-fest will be the party at the festival, and the party that no one will be having after we leave the EU? GOD, we can’t be going through politics again!
Siri: To be honest, if Break-fest was a festival with pancakes and waffles and chocolate mini weetabix etc, I would get tickets no matter what it was celebrating. Brexit or no Brexit, that sounds incredible.
Chris: Yes, it is, but I am going to vote no confidence in myself. Can I do that?
Chris: People can do that to each other. Guys, i’ve got a great idea.
Siri: Tell us! Tell us!
Chris: Every time you buy a table from IKEA and it’s a bit wobbly and you can’t put it together, table a vote of no confidence!
Siri: Oh I absolutely will! Although to be honest I’d probably just return it to IKEA. A vote of no confidence seems like a waste of time and effort when there’s a table that needs to be built.
Chris: Isn’t it always a waste of time?
Siri: Ummmm. yes.
Chris: If we ever ask, I’m going to table a vote of no confidence against you, and you can do the same against me. Then, you see, if we keep using tables of no confidence, the word will lose all meaning and it’ll be quite enjoyable to watch, on ITV on iPlayer, on Netflix…. I table a motion to end this blogisode. All in favour.
Siri: I wouldn’t say I’m in favour, but time is just about up.
Chris: So until next week, don’t lower the self esteem of any tables by telling them you have no confidence in them, or indeed any furniture. Peace.