Hey humans. You know, it takes one to write a blog, two to write a blogisode! Welcome to Mundanevision!
Chris: Hey Siri!
Siri: Good afternoon, Chris!
Chris: How the devil are you? Disclaimer: I do not think Siri is the devil.
Siri: I’m very pleased to hear it, I was a bit worried for a second. But I’m good. Quite warm, but that’s because it’s sunny today, not because I’m in hell with the other devils.
Chris: And now you’ve put down the pitchfork, you look lovely and can type a lot better.
Siri: True. How are you, Chris?
Chris: I am good thank you. It is a lovely day outside, I hope our many many loyal followers are having a lovely day as well.
Siri: When you say followers so close to devil, it makes it sound like Mundanevision is some sort of satanic cult.
Chris: It’s almost Halloween, so it could be!
Siri: Do you have any plans to scare people this Halloween?
Chris: No, just with my jokes. I’m expecting reactions like “that was shockingly bad” or “that was scarily good”. Something along those lines. Remember last week when we talked about chocolate milk, which we are drinking again, a little peak behind the curtain of showbiz – or blogbiz, I guess!
Siri: Blogbiz. I like it. But next Mundanevision, next blogisode we’ll have to move on to another drink, as the Mundanevision studio has run out of Cadbury’s powder – through no fault of ours.
Chris: No. Ahh, Cadbury’s, the only grounded chocolate brand there is.
Siri: Cadbury’s, the only reason to visit the Midlands. I’m just joking, all you Midlands inhabitants, there are definitely other things worth seeing in Birmingham besides Cadbury’s chocolate factory!
Chris: List them…
Chris: ANYWAY. Good list. Anyway, remember when I was talking about the diseases and chocolate milk could cure, like Black Death or the Plague.
Siri: I certainly do, one of the best medical discoveries Mundanevision has had. What about it?
Chris: I’m not sure people believed me when I said it cured Black Death and the Plague, but I say to you: have you suffered from those diseases in recent times? No? I rest my case. Thank you, Cadbury’s, thank you.
Siri: I wonder if Lindt or Nesquik chocolate milk would have the same curing effect?
Chris: Oh absolutely, Lindt are master chocolatiers!
Siri: No arguments from me there! Lindt is delicious. I’m so excited for advent calendar season!
Chris: At least the adverts tell me they’re master chocolatiers, I’m so susceptible to adverts that I’ve even taken out a policy with Direct Line in the hope that I get to see Harvey Keitel and it better work.
Siri: I’m sure there are easier ways of seeing him.
Chris: Not since the restraining order.
Siri: Ah, perhaps my recommendations are not the way to go. I was going to suggest that if you want to meet him, you should go down the hostage/kidnapping route. But perhaps you should instead pay someone else to kidnap him, someone without a restraining order, so it’s legal?
Chris: I thought about having myself kidnapped, but then Liam Neeson might show up to rescue me – I don’t want him, I want Harvey! Go away Liam, get out of the way.
Siri: Yes, definitely the only negative to being kidnapped is meeting Liam Neeson.
Chris: This is the only reason why I’m not kidnapping myself on a regular basis – I don’t want to meet the wrong celebrity.
Siri: Completely understandable. Have you ever tried accidentally slipping your mobile into their handbag or pocket? I hear that’s a great way of meeting celebrities, because then they call one of the numbers in your phone to figure out how to get your mobile back to you, and you get to meet up with them to retrieve it!
Chris: Wow, you’ve actually thought a lot about this.
Siri: I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work as well nowadays, with all these phone locks and everything. However, if you take it from another angle, a lot of phones have a tracking device so you’d know where the celebrity was for as long as your phone was in their possession for!
Chris: Are you a spy?
Siri: I would definitely tell you if I were… … …
Chris: I think I’ll stick with the Direct Line policy and the burst water pipe.
Siri: Understandable. A safer route, that’s less likely to get you arrested. Also you get to keep your mobile! Chris, you are a genius.
Chris: And giving your mobile to a spy so they will meet you sounds like a weird dating agency.
Siri: I think it might go down quite well, maybe I should start it?
Chris: I think we should do an advertisement for it right now, on Mundanevision! Do you want to meet a spy? Is meeting 007 just really inconvenient with your busy lifestyle? Then we have the solution for you! Give Your Mobile To A Spy at spymobile.com – you can meet Jason Bourne in seconds. He might not remember you but it will sure be memorable!
Siri: I love it, we’ll have thousands of clients/customers in minutes, and true love will be found by the end of the day!
Chris: Oh we must talk about the best thing that happened to us this week!
Siri: Oh yes, we definitely must, and we have just one hundred words to do it in, but I think it deserves a few more. Go on, Chris…
Chris: I don’t want to waste words, because then there’ll be fewer words.
Siri: Oh no, now we’re wasting more?! Tell them Chris!
Chris: We saw the film Bad Times at the El Royale.
Siri: And what did you think?
Chris: Well, contrary to the title, I had an AMAZING time at this hotel – it was INCREDIBLE.
Siri: I wholeheartedly agree. What a phenomenal film!
Chris: AND it was an original film – it wasn’t based on true events, a book, prequel, sequel, TV series or anything else!! It came out of someone’s brain. How can someone write like that?! It was magical.
Siri: It was by far the best film I’ve seen in a long time, and I’m telling everyone about it, and you all must go and see it.
Chris: Yes, everyone, if you like this blog at all, or just find it amusing or weird, GO SEE THIS FILM. Everything about it is good, the music, the storytelling, the acting, the writing, the camera work, EVERYTHING! If I was in charge of the Oscars, there’d only be one category this year, and that film would win.
Siri: I agree. It was just amazing.
Chris: It was like a mint – really refreshing.
Siri: And twist after twist after twist – so much that I didn’t see coming!
Chris: And we have our own twist – is this the end of the blogisode, or is it just the beginning? Peace.