Raining Cats and Dogs

Welcome to Mundanevision – Blogisode 2! Your weekly dose of strange and irrelevant chat.

Chris: Sophia, it’s your turn to pick a subject this week!

Sophia: I think we should discuss what most British people are famous for…

Chris: Queuing?

Sophia: No…

Chris: Ah… Tea?

Sophia: No. Talking about the weather.

Chris: Shouldn’t the props department have made us some tea and biscuits for this?

Sophia: If you could have a lifetime supply of biscuits, what biscuit would you choose?

Chris: Well. for this blog, it’d have to be bourbon biscuits because they are just so bour-ing and mundane. Get it?

Sophia: I like jammy dodgers.

Chris: That would make a good character for the biscuit adaptation of Oliver.

Sophia: Hmmm. Back on to the subject of weather… what would you do if it actually did start raining real cats and dogs?

Chris: I think I’d call the RSPCA and say “control your pets please”.

Sophia: Why does it have to be cats and dogs? Why can’t it be raining badgers and…

Chris: Bison? Badgers and bison? That would hurt. It would be like the hailing equivalent of raining cats and dogs.

Sophia: Then what would a thunder storm be?

Chris: Cows and llamas.

Sophia. Of course. And what about snowing?

Chris: It’d have to be something soft. Snow white kittens?

Sophia: Awwww

(She goes weak at the knees)

Sophia: Better stock up on cat food.

Chris: Can you imagine the weather reports? “We’re expecting fluffy kitten storms today”.

Sophia: Severe weather warnings. It’d be clawful…

Chris: Sophia weather warnings?

Sophia: No, severe weather warnings.

Chris: Severe Sophia weather warnings. How did we get on to the subject of tongue twisters?

Sophia: Peter Piper picked a pickled pepper?

Chris: Sally soul searches for sailors on the sea shore.

Sophia: I thought it was she sells sea shells on the sea shore?

Chris: And why can’t Sally be involved?

Sophia: Well in that case, can Peter sell sea shells on the sea shore too?

Chris: He can sell shirts for sailors whilst Sally and..

Sophia: The person who sells sea shells on the sea shore (gosh that’s a mouthful) doesn’t appear to have a name. I don’t thinks she’s ever had a name.

Chris: So it could be Sally after all?

Sophia: I suppose so…

Chris: What if “she” actually has a name that doesn’t rhyme with the rest of the tongue twister so she got struck off and is now not credited for selling the shells. Mundanevision: “writing” the wrongs.What if it was actually Barbara who sold sea shells on the sea shore?

Sophia: Red lorry yellow lorry red lorry yellow lorry red lorry (she continues with this for a few minutes. Chris looks confused). We can’t say much about that tongue twister can we?

Chris: Well, I find it strange that the drivers aren’t mentioned.

Sophia: Maybe they’re on auto-drive.

Chris: Microsoft is developing a driverless car. But obviously the inventor of the red lorry yellow lorry tongue twister came up with the idea years and years before.

Sophia: I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable in a driverless car. I’d prefer a car that makes popcorn.

Chris: A popcornmobile

Sophia: Yeah and caramel popcorn can pop out of its exhaust pipe. I wonder what Jeremy Clarkson would have to say about that.

Chris: I’m not sure he’d say anything he’d probably fire it from a canon or something with a horrified James May standing buy.

Sophia: And Richard Hammond scampering around trying to catch all the popcorn.

Chris: Yeah, with a bowl, like in a 1980’s computer game.

Sophia: I think popcorn rain would be nice. I’d just constantly walk around with my mouth open.

Chris: Bit dangerous though. Imagine the ads on TV: “Have you had a popcorn related accident? Do you know somebody who has been affected by popcorn? If so, call now or pop in and see us!”

Sophia: Yeah, imagine how many people have “popped” their clogs slipping on sweet’n’salty.

Chris: It would be a lovely way to go.

Sophia: I’d prefer to die in a fluffy kitten snow avalanche.

Chris: Can you imagine the headlines?  PERSON BURIED UNDER FURRY MOUND OF KITTENS.

Sophia: I think I’d prefer that to being drowned in badgers and bison rain.

Chris: Right, we’re off to get indoors quickly before anything like that happens. And I’m off to investigate who really did sell those sea shells on the sea shore.

Sophia: I’m still convinced it was Peter.

If you enjoyed our chat about the weather, you can look forward to our third “blogisode” next Tuesday… 

Uh oh… Catalanche…LOOK OUT!

Peace.

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About mundanevision

Every day could be a Mundanevision blogisode day, now that they are posting weekly .So Grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and get comfortable because you're going to read about the least trendy topics.It's a blog you really do want to miss...
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