This mundane week, Chris has chosen the topic of reality television.
Chris: OK Sophia, so the question of the day is; what are your thoughts on reality TV?
Sophia: Well if it’s got anything to do with cockroaches or Katie Price I don’t want anything to do with it.
Chris: Aren’t they the same thing?
Chris: Better call the Price exterminators then
Sophia: I’m not a fan of reality TV in general… the whole Big Brother thing freaks me out.
Chris: Wow that’s a really heavy topic. I can barely lift it! Do you prefer the spinning chairs in The Voice? Or the straight forward judging panel of X-Factor?
Sophia: I- I- I just don’t know.
Chris: I like the spinning chairs idea. They’re a bit like dodgums, they could crash in to each other at any moment.
Sophia: I’m not sure how Tom Jones would deal with that. He’d be like “sex bump sex bump”
Chris: Or more like “why why Delilah?!”
Sophia: And Rita would be like “my name’s RITA not Delilah!”
Chris: Why is her surname “Ora” ? Is she an angel? Or a medium? Can you see her aura? And if so – what colour is it?
Sophia: I reckon it would be fluorescent pink.
Chris: Why Pink, Pink would be very upset. She has a monopoly on everything pink. Just like Disney has a monopoly on everything frozen… I think if you use the word “Frozen” you have to pay Disney like a million pounds. I mean, how would you say you’re going out to buy a frozen ready meal or some frozen peas? Would you describe it as slightly frosted food?
Sophia: I have no idea but you’ve just clocked up 4 million pounds worth of debt. Well done!
Chris: It’s like Disney Taboo. But we don’t have the money, we’re only a blog series!
Sophia: We could always sell something. What could we sell?
Chris: I have an Olaf toy in the corner, we could sell him back to Disney for a profit.
Sophia: Do you think they’ll want him back?
Chris: Yes, but not in Summer. He’s a pretty seasonal guy.
Sophia: What do you think is the worst type of reality TV?
Chris: I don’t know – my TV has a reality TV filter. Pick another channel please! Not the Disney one. Nooo not the Disney one!
Sophia: My weakness is Spongebob. I’m just gonna put it out there.
Chris: I don’t even get Spongebob. Is it because he’s clean?
Sophia: I dunno, I like his laugh and he makes me hungry for Victoria Sponge.
Chris: Maybe Victoria Sponge is his wife’s name?
Sophia: What would Squidword’s wife’s name be? Is that even how you spell Squidword?
Chris: I think he’d be an eternal bachelor.
Sophia: That sounds a bit inky.
Chris: Or he could have an interracial marriage and tie the knot with Crab Cake.
Sophia: I love crab cakes ooo with sweet chilli sauce.
Chris: Anyway back on point here. Reality TV.
Sophia: If you were on I’m a Celebrity and had to do one of those horrible Bush Tucker trials, which would be the worst one for you?
Chris: Seeing Ant and Dec.
Sophia: But I like Ant and Dec.
Chris: Everybody does apart from me. I think I must have had a bad experience with an ant or some decking when I was a kid.
Sophia: Now that is a heavy topic.
Chris: You could say this blog is reality TV because it’s LIVE people. We’re typing to you LIVE.
Sophia: Uhh..Chris, I think they probably won’t believe that.
Chris: Well it is. Spiderman could have put a webcam in here.
Sophia: Oh I get it. WEB!!! Cool. Why do I never get jokes? Actually don’t answer that.
Chris: My jokes are never really jokes… Anyway, I have come up with an idea Sophia.
Sophia: Oh gosh. What is it?
Chris: Well we’ve established that we don’t like reality TV. Would you like it more if it involved puppets?
Sophia: If they’re like the ones in Team America, then yes.
Chris: I took this idea to Dragon’s Den but there was a note on their door saying “all out” so I went home and I’m blogging about it with you instead.
Sophia: Go on… Oh no it’s raining outside yet again.
Chris: You could say it’s raining cats and dogs (see blogisode 2)
Sophia: So what’s the idea? Puppet reality TV? What would it be called?
Chris: We’d have all these puppets together in one house like Big Brother.
Sophia: Shall it be called “No Strings Attached” ?
Chris: That would be a good name for a dating show for puppets. I can just imagine a clip from it now: “Aqua Marina is looking for a like minded puppet to spend the rest of her life with no strings attached”
Sophia: What would this Big Brother style puppet reality show be called?
Chris: Something like “Knock on Wood”
Sophia: Or Pinnochi-Oh-My-God
Chris: Pinnochio would surely be evicted, because he’s a real boy!
Sophia: Let’s get puppeteering then.
Chris: Yes, it can make up one of our bonus blog posts!
Stay tuned. Chris and Sophia play plinky plonky hold music whilst they get in to character.