Hello and happy Tuesday! Welcome to another blogisode of the marvellous Mundanevision. Your weekly dose of the random and weird is here. Think of us as “mundaned” rather than ordained spiritual leaders, and you’re our spiritual readers!
Sophia: Have we come up with yet another mundane topic to talk about today or are we just going to let the conversation blossom?
Chris: Hmm. I think we should let it blossom. Like a garden in spring.
Sophia: Very poetic Chris. Did you know that everything in Japan is bright pink during the Spring months due to the cherry blossom? It’s everywhere.
Chris: I like Blossom, it’s a good TV show.
Sophia: There is a TV show called Blossom?
Chris: Yes, it’s an old one. 1980’s I think. About a girl called Blossom.
Sophia: Was she bright pink?
Chris: Depends what outfit she was wearing at the time. Maybe if they ever showed it in Japan, she was.
Chris: Anyway, I think we’re just going to have to talk about it Sophia…
Sophia: About what?
Chris: Yes. Did you know there’s going to be a sequel?
Sophia: I did indeed. Although I’m not sure I’m going to go and watch it…
Chris: What Elsa you going to do?
Sophia: Ha. I see what you did there. Is the sequel coming out…. In Summer? Get it?
Chris: I don’t even know what the sequel is going to be called. What’s another word related to being frozen? Could it be called ‘Defrosted’?
Chris: Or just ‘Water’. Do you think that was the cause of Jeremy Clarkson’s alleged angry outbreak? He watched Frozen too many times and he just couldn’t Let It Go…
Sophia: Can you imagine Clarkson in Frozen? Maybe he’ll be in the sequel.
Chris: Testing sledges and ski wear for the new version of Top Gear: Winter Gear.
Sophia: I can’t imagine Richard Hammond surviving that.
Chris: Maybe Hammond will meet Olaf?
Sophia: He is a bit like Olaf…
Chris: I think Hammond IS Olaf. I wonder who Clarkson is. Sven the reindeer? I really can’t remember, it’s driving me crazy.
Sophia: Let’s steer clear of those kind of puns…
Chris: WARNING: Chris’s jokes may be closer than they appear.
Sophia: You need a reverse bleep.
Chris: What is reverse bleep, is anybody good at anagrams?
Chris and Sophia both stare at the backward spelling of “bleep” in fascination.
Chris: If we had a Mundanevision mascot, I think “peelb” should be the noise it makes.
Sophia: Do mascots make noises? What kind of animal would make that noise? A potato peeler? “Peelb. Peelb.”
Chris: What animal would our mascot would it be? A potato peeler doesn’t sound too ap”peeling”…
Sophia: A sloth?
Chris: A sloth is good because it can just sleep.
Sophia: Shall we get one for our Mundanevision studio? Where do you get sloths from?
Chris: Sloth Shop. Like Swap Shop – another old TV reference.
Sophia: Could you swap sloths in there then?
Chris: Ermm yes I think that’s the only thing you could do. It’s a niche market.
Sophia: OK, well you have to be in charge of feeding it. What do they even eat?
Chris: I don’t think they eat. I think they just hang around and be your friend.
Sophia: Sloths have become quite an internet sensation haven’t they. I mean they’re all over Youtube…Google…
Chris: Like I said, they just hang around. In fact there are so many on my computer screen right now that I can’t see anything!
Chris attempts to shoo them off with a big stick.
Chris: I hope sloths don’t drink. Can you imagine a drunk sloth. It would be a sloshed sloth.
Sophia: Alcohol slows down reactions so how slow would a drunk sloth be?!
Chris: I think it would just stop. We have to redefine the meaning of the word sloth.
Sophia: I think sloths are scary looking. I wouldn’t want one scuttling in to my room in the middle of the night.
Chris: In a dressing gown with a pillow. Like “Hi Sophia! Can I sloth in next to you?”
Sophia: Creeeeeepy. Sloth off.
Chris: I know you just love sloths.
Sophia: I wonder what they’re like as bed buddies.
Chris: If you embarrass a sloth do they slope off?
Sophia and Chris sit in silence. Chris changes in to philosophical white robes and sits under his thinking tree. A sloth dangles from the branches.
Chris: Great, instead of a juicy apple, I get this. A sloth on my head.
Sophia: At least it’s not a drunken sloth, slurring it’s speech.
Chris: Did you see that photo that went viral of a weasel on a woodpecker? I wonder if there’s one of a moth on a sloth? And do you think viral images are contagious?
Sophia: I hope not! That would be… I’m trying to think of a good pun but I can’t. Can I please go and sit under your thinking tree?
Chris: It’s really taken root in the studio. And yes you may.
Sophia: I’m not keen on that sloth though.
Chris: Don’t worry, I’ll hit him with a stick and he’ll go flying.
Sophia: On a moth?
Before this turns into Dr. Seuss we’re going to go and hang out with our sloth. We’ll see you all next week!