We are back, everyone! The keyboard is back and the culprit has been apprehended… it was a moose. A drunk moose on a stag do. He’s been let off with a warning. Now that’s out of the way welcome to Wednesday’s Mundanevision blogisode! We have some mundane things for you today, as ever. Enjoy.
Sophia: So Chris, The Goo Goo Dolls have released a new song for a Broadway musical?
Chris: Yes, we listened to it together before the show, it was great.
Sophia: I did see you tapping your feet.
Chris: Oh yes, I’ve got rhythm.
Sophia: Perhaps you should join a band?
Chris: A band of feet tappers.
Sophia: And I’ll be the head-banging finger drummer.
Chris: Oh… Where can I go from that?
Sophia: I really, truly do not know.
Chris: If we do start a band though, we need to employ a guy called Fred who just stares.
Sophia: You mean Fred Astaire? I think he’s long gone Chris. Sorry mate.
Chris: There must be some tribute act around. If you’re a Fred Astaire tribute act, or just like looking at things intensely, get in touch!
Sophia: I’m sure someone out there is a Fred Astaire tribute act. I once saw a Rolling Stones tribute band and the lead singer’s jeans were so tight I thought he was going to implode.
Chris: The Stationary Pebbles?
Sophia: No I think it was the Lazy Rocks..
Chris: Were they 50 shades of grey?
Sophia: Don’t get started on that Mister. But, coming to think of it, I think they were at least 40 shades of grey
Chris: 45, let’s be generous
Sophia laughs hysterically and can’t get her words out. Chris looks bemused.
Chris: Sorry readers, Sophia is having a break down.
Sophia: I think it’s because I had too much humous at lunch.
Chris: What a humorous anecdote.
Sophia: For a minute then I thought you said a humongous anecdote. I never use that word.
Sophia: HAHAHHAH say it again.
They both burst out laughing.
Chris: Aaaand relax.
Sophia: I recently read a survey that said that a certain percentage of people in the UK think dodos still exist.
Chris: Well they really are dodo-brains then. The Dodos would be a great name for a bread tribute act. They come from Ye Olde Yeast.
Sophia: Ahhh. What a loaf of rubbish.
Chris: Are you in a jam Sophia?
Sophia: I don’t know, but something really has scone wrong.
Chris: So let’s talk about politics and the recent elections then…
Sophia: Don’t you talk to me about politics!
Chris: I don’t actually want to, I was just trying to get a rise out of you!
Sophia: Back to baking and bread then!
Chris: I’m very baguetteful, what were we just talking about?
Sophia: I don’t know, but I think we really knead to change the subject! It’s a wonderful day out there.
Chris: Yes it is, we should go out after the show.
Sophia: Shall we fly a kite and play a spot of volleyball? Or how about a safari. Can you do a safari in the UK?
Chris: I believe you can on Mac computers, that is what their web browser’s called.
Sophia: Yeah, but can you get zebras and lions on it? Dodos by any chance? They do exist you know. Chris you know what, I think we should go on safari together.
Chris: Great I’ll go get my Macbook.
Sophia changes in to khaki and slathers on sun cream.
Chris: Why are you dressed as a giant car key?
Sophia: Because I want to unlock the secrets of safari….
Chris: Well just type in your password then.
Sophia: I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Chris. But I don’t mean Macbook safari. I want a real one with camels…and….and…mice and stuff. Y’know, real animals. Critters.
Chris: OK, we can listen to House of Rising Sun by The Animals while we’re surfing the net on Safari. They’re the same things anyway: you get a guide on both to tell you what to look out for.
Sophia: I suppose Internet safari is much safer than real safari.
Chris: You might get key-bored quite quickly though.
Sophia comes up with some really bad puns. There is an uncomfortable silence.
Chris: You might see a dough-eyed deer. Oh, we’re back to baking!
Sophia: Let’s mix it up a bit.
Chris: I agree, let me whisk you away from all this.
Sophia: On safari? Shall I give up on the safari thing?
Chris: We’ll see what we can do… we might see some stuffed animals. And we might get Katy Perry in to sing a live rendition of Roar.
Sophia: That sounds great, can I be a foot tapper in her band?
Chris: Yes. OK let’s go.
Sophia: I’ll pack my bags and my car-key. Oops sorry, meant khaki.
Chris: Why are you bringing that car key? You look ridiculous!
Sophia: Fine, let’s make a deal. I don’t bring my khaki and you don’t bring your Macbook safari.
Chris: Ooo if Macdonalds were like Argos, do you think they’d have loads of ‘MacBooks’, like the shiny catalogues in Argos? Lots and lots of Big Macs?
Sophia: It would really fry my brain if that happened.
Chris: There would be a MacFlurry of excitement.
Sophia: Yes Argos would really have to Ketchup with the trend.
Chris: We really need to do something about spreading the word of Mundanevision.
Sophia: Yes that’s true, so many people are missing out on our mundane chats. If you’re reading this, keep readin’!
Chris: And spread the word among your sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends…
Sophia: And goldfish! Don’t baguette the goldfish!
Chris: And if you don’t have a sister any relation will do.
Sophia: Even your great-aunt
Chris: Yes, we want to get some great aunts involved – I hear they’re tremendous fun
Sophia: If you’re a great aunt and reading this, join us. Oh and bring us some freshly baked goods please. Back to baking again. Perhaps we’re hungry?
Chris: Maybe we are. Have you ever read a blog by two such donuts?
Sophia: Because you’re reading one now! At least we come up with jammy topics to talk about.
Chris: If you’re a food-stuff and enjoy our blog, please at least try and get the word out.
Sophia: Chris, food doesn’t talk easily. You need to coax it. Let’s go coax some food.
Chris: On safari.
This week’s blogisode of Mundanevision was brought to you by food. When in doubt, eat.