Hello everyone, welcome to Show 14 of Mundanevision! And a big welcome to our new followers on Twitter.
Chris: I’ve always thought Twitter is a bit creepy. Being on it is like being stalked, like being followed.
Sophia: Yeah, it’s basically a social media site for stalkers.
Chris: I thought I saw the bushes move on the way in.
Sophia: We should definitely get the studio some CCTV, Chris. I mean who knows what’s lurking round the corner. What about that Eurovision man in women’s clothes and a beard?
Chris: Or Russell Brand?
Sophia: Well, they do look quite similar. I think it’s the hair, and the slightly effeminate qualities. Not that that’s a bad thing, that’s a good thing. OK I’m digging myself in a hole now.
Chris: I keep hearing things on the radio about protecting our brand online. And I always think to myself, Russell’s not that much in danger is he?
Sophia: I bet he’s very good in the kitchen. He Russells something up real quick. A sandwich or a salad, perhaps. I wonder what Russell Brand eats? Cigarette smoke? Hair? He’s quite hairy, let’s not deny that.
Chris: Yeah, I wonder if his favourite destination is Brussells. Russell’s in Brussells! That could be a holiday programme.
Sophia: A bit like ‘Sun Sex and Suspicious Parents’ – who goes on that programme anyway?
Chris: Obviously suspicious parents. They can be suspicious about anything, as long as they ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’.
Sophia: No wonder they’re suspicious parents, these days ‘One’s Born Every Minute’
Chris: But I tell you what, it’s ‘Good News’ for Russell Howard.
Sophia: Would you let your parents follow you around on holiday, watching your every move?
Chris: Yes, my parents could follow me around. Can you imagine Sting’s children? Every step they take and every move they make, he’ll be watching them.
Sophia: I bet Liam Neeson’s quite a protective dad too.
Chris: Yes, I bet he’s quite ‘Taken’ by this blogisode of Mundanevision.
The phone rings. Sophia runs to pick it up and comes back straight away looking confused.
Sophia: I answered the phone but then the other person just hung up on me.
Chris: Was it Madonna by any chance?
Sophia: I don’t know but it really sent me over the ‘Borderline’
Chris: I bet Madonna votes Conservative because she’s ‘True Blue’
Sophia: And I’ve also heard she’s quite a ‘Material Girl’. I recently read an article criticising Madonna for dressing like her teenage daughter, despite being in her fifties. What do you think? Do you think she should stop wearing revealing leotards?
Chris: I think she should stop wearing revealing leotards. I mean, she’s a lady of a certain age now.
Sophia: I’m all for embracing your youth, but if my mother skimped around in a glittery bikini on stage I’d be worried.
Chris: She gets to embrace her youth everyday anyway, when she cuddles her daughter. Lourdes.
Sophia: I can’t imagine Lourdes liking cuddles. She’s too cool for that.
Chris: Do you think she likes Lorde though?
Chris and Sophia break into and impromptu version of Lorde’s ‘Royals’. The resident sloth joins in, albeit in the wrong key.
Chris: The thing that worries me is that if Madonna wears all these clothes on stage, what does she wear on holiday?
Sophia: Nothing at all probably.
Chris: Or very reserved clothing that covers up everything. Like a wetsuit.
Sophia: Or a spacesuit?
Chris: I imagine that’s what Kevin Spacey wears on holiday. On the subject of holidays, have you seen Travelodge’s new advertisement?
Chris: You’ve not seen it? With the puppets?
Sophia: Well if puppets are involved, I have to see it. Are they advertising one night stands at hotels, with no strings attached?
Chris: Wasn’t that the name of our puppet reality show?
Sophia: Ah, I think it was. No, wait, it was called ‘Living on a String’ and Aqua Marina was the star of that show. Well, when she actually appeared.
(Click here to read ‘Living on a String’)
Chris: Ah, I will show it to you and we shall discuss it.
Chris and Sophia watch the advert.
Sophia: Wow. That’s strange, but kinda catchy. Watch it people!
Chris: I bet those puppets are tied to their contracts now. Or Travelodge will always be stringing them along.
Sophia: Where was Sooty or Pinocchio? I want to see some famous puppets. Not B-list puppets! Is that too much to ask?!
Chris: Pinocchio would not be in it, he’s a real boy!
Sophia: And he ‘nose’ it…
Chris: OK guys, well after all this talk about puppets, we’re gonna leave you hanging! Thanks very much for reading, watching, listening – whatever you do.