Hi guys, welcome to the last of our Christmas blogisodes, and the last of season 2. Poppy is back in the studio with me today, so it really does feel like Christmas.
Chris: Hey Poppy!
Poppy: Hello everybody
Chris: Are you feeling christmassy?
Poppy: No… It is not cold enough for it to be Christmas.
Chris: Yes it is very unseasonable, maybe people in Barbados are shivering wondering where their Christmas weather has gone. I bet Santa rides a jet ski over there.
Poppy: what with Rudolph the red nose dolphin ?
Chris: I was more thinking a side car. Is there a side car for jet skis? Maybe that’s motorbikes.
Poppy: Definitely a motorbike.
Chris: Well maybe they should have, but I like the idea of a red nosed dolphin.
Poppy: If I ever went to Barbados I would have a red nose… but that would be from sun burn.
Chris: Now the keen eyed among our readers may have noticed it is not Friday. But it is because it is Christmas, and everything changes at Christmas, like being keen on Christmas pudding.
Poppy: I eat Christmas pudding for breakfast on Boxing day
Chris: That is dedication, and keeping the spirit of Christmas all year round.
Poppy: Its not even that, I am just lazy in honesty.
Chris: Everyone is, but its ok because its christmas. At no other time of year it acceptable to set light to your pudding.
Poppy: Only British people would come up with a pudding that contains that much alcohol you can actually set light to it.
Chris: I wonder what Christmas pudding would taste like if you didn’t set fire to it, it would just be pudding. Christmas television is good though
Poppy: It is the only time of year that they play all of the Harry Potter films.
Chris: Well they are magical
Poppy: This is very true, I think they should play them in reverse order so it gets progressively less miserable towards Christmas.
Chris: Maybe they should do prequels to Harry Potter, like Star wars
Poppy: I think they are in the process of making one, with Eddie Redmayne as the lead.
Chris: Stephen Hawkings in a Harry Potter film? That would be weird. They could call it The Theory of Potter.
Poppy: I think it would be very difficult to explain everything in those books.
Chris: Well, now I think it would just be JK Rowling explaining how she came up with this creation and everything.
Poppy: That sounds like a fantastic interview. Apparently she wrote the first book on napkins in cafes because she could not afford to buy paper.
Chris: Wouldn’t it be funny if she spilled her coffee and by accident she mopped it up with the first chapter of the Philosopher’s stone. It would become the Philosopher’s Throne.
Poppy: Who knows what would happen in that case.
Chris: Imagine if she couldn’t read her own hand writing. “I always get so messy when I’m tired”.
Poppy: I have something in common with her then! How exciting
Chris: What a wizarding child locked in a cupboard, or the handwriting?
Poppy: Well it could be both for all you know.
Chris: I haven’t seen the sloth for a while.
Poppy: Maybe he has gone to Barbados for Christmas?
Chris: Maybe he is riding a jet ski with Santa or Rudolph the red nosed dolphin. I wonder is Santa records the Christmas telly, because he will miss out on some great stuff. Can you get iPlayer in the North Pole? If you can’t use it in Europe you probably can’t in the North Pole.
Poppy: Surely an exception can be made for Santa?
Chris: I don’t know they are pretty strict. That is not a joke, it is a statement. If we make exceptions for Santa everybody will want exception made for them.
Poppy: You sound like a primary school teacher saying that!
Chris: I have often thought ITV is like primary school. Lots of breaks. Cut their loses and call it an advert channel.
Poppy: Watching midsomer murders is a nightmare.
Chris: Especially before Christmas. Great film reference (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Poppy: Tim Burton always makes weird films. I would say be normal, but I actually want him to continue being eccentric.
Chris: Have you noticed that Helena Bohman Carter has broken up with him she is a lot less weird?
Poppy: I still haven’t forgiven her for killing Surius Black.
Chris: I bet Tim was egging her on behind the camera
Poppy: That is unforgivable!
Chris: Yes, I think we should have a word with Tim. Stalk him until he promises to do a Frankenstein film to resurrect him.
Poppy: This is the Christmas special not Easter.
Chris: Very true. How about this as a gift idea for christmas? Surius Black as an aftershave, for him and for her.
Poppy: The new fragrance from mundanevision.
Chris: We will be making that scent in the new year and testing it on the sloth.
Poppy: No that is animal testing!
Chris: The sloth is an animal alright, a party animal. Maybe the sloth could test it on me, then it will be human tested.
So that’s it guys, season’s greetings and see you in the New Year for season 3. Peace.