Oh hey internet! You must be here for this week’s Mundanevision – come in, come in, you’ve got the right place. I’m not alone, I’ve got someone else with me. She’s neat, she’s chique, she sits in the other seat, it’s Siri!
Chris: Hey Siri!
Siri: Hello Chris! How are you today?
Chris: I’m good – I see you’re very relaxed, you’ve got tea and biscuits!
Siri: Yep, I’ve been eating digestives the whole day. It’s probably not very good for me, but it’s delicious.
Chris: That’s McVitie’s digestives. That’s product placement, we could get loads of McVitie’s biscuits being sent to us now!
Siri: Yes, we definitely need to become very very famous and then we can try and get lots of free stuff from all the other companies too!
Chris: And become Jammy Dodgers. So jammy! YOu know what I heard on the radio the other week? I heard what the proper way to eat a digestive is.
Siri: Ooh, how are you supposed to eat them?
Chris: Well, according to Absolute Radio, we’ve been holding them upside down all this time. You’re supposed to be holding it so the digestive logo is facing up!
Siri: … That’s how I hold it!
Chris: Oh, then the rest of the world has been doing it wrong! Are you in fact working for digestive secretly? You’ve even got an “I LOVE DIGESTIVES” t shirt on!
Siri: Yes, last week I was secretly working for the CIA, this week I am secretly working for McVitie’s.
Chris: Not very secret, are you? You’ve told all the people in blogland!
Siri: That is very true, but none of them know my real name, so hopefully McVitie’s won’t be too angry with me!
Chris: That was a good plan, Sally…
Siri: YOU’VE GIVEN IT AWAY NOW!
Chris: Oh, I’m sorry. Let us just call you “S” for short.
Siri: Or you could call me Siri for short…
Chris: Yes, I could. Let’s stick with Siri. I think the people at Apple would like that. Free iPhones for everyone!
Siri: YES that’s true! Although I thought I heard you saying on Saturday that you don’t like iPhones? I guess you can not like them, but still get free iPhones, and then just sell them to other people. And use the money to buy more DVDs and the Goo Goo Dolls album.
Chris: Or I could buy actual apples, and feed the world! I’ve just cured hunger – my work is done!
Siri: Wow, your plan is a far far more generous one than my idea was! But, if you use all your money buying apples for the poor, how are you going to afford Boxes, the new Goo Goo Dolls album?
Chris: Fair enough, maybe I can convince the Goo Goo Dolls to give an apple free with their album?
Siri: Probably. And after all this talking about the Goo Goo Dolls, they should probably give you their CD for free as well!
Chris: AMAZING. But the sceptics among our listeners are probably saying “what if the poor don’t like apples?” How can you not like apples – they’re Golden and Delicious!
Siri: If the apples you’re giving them are golden (instead of red or green) then I think they will probably definitely really appreciate them, even if they don’t like apples!
Chris: You see. I’m amazing. Dare I say it – I’m better than Kanye West.
Siri: What are you implying about Kanye West? I think he’ll make a great president in 2020!
Chris: I hope he Trumps Donald!
Siri: I think Donald will have moved on to his next weird goal by the time the next elections come around. I still can’t believe what that programme said about him being called Drumpf!
Chris: I know, I wonder if Ronald McDonald is his brother?
Siri: Probably, I’ve heard it’s true that everyone whose names rhyme are related. You’re probably related to Tris, from the Divergent series.
Chris: Now WE are diverging, can we get back on track please?
Siri: Oh, what was the track we were on before?
Chris: I think it was track 10 of the Nirvana album?
Siri: That sounds about right. Nice and random, good enough for Mundanevision!
Chris: Yes, I know. I wonder if anyone can make sense of our conversations on Mundanevision?
Siri: I’m sure they can, we have very intelligent blog-readers, I think.
Chris: We do, our blogs will appeal to everyone, we’re family friendly, we’re animal friendly (with the Sloth). If you like music, we’ve got you covered with the Afternoon Girls. If you like a guy and a girl, we’ve got you covered as well! If you like blogs, we’ve got you covered, and if you like Word Press, we’ve got you covered, and if yo like the internet, we’ve got you covered.
Siri: And we talk about all kinds of other things that people probably like, like Deliveroo and films. But you brought up an important point with the guy and the girl, because we currently have no representatives from other genders. Or nationalities really, on that point!
Chris: The Sloth could be Mexican, for all we know – he never speaks! Called Carlos, perhaps.
Picture from Taringa.
Siri: I didn’t even think that he might have a real name! I just assumed his parents named him The Sloth.
Chris: Yes, they named him Carlos, because they wanted him to have a better chance at life than they have. What chance have you got just being called “sloth”? Anyway, here they are, the Afternoon Girls! The song they’re singing today is by a Grammy Award winning band. They wrote this song for City of Angels. What are all these boxes of china doing in the studio? Is everything made to be broken?
Siri: They weren’t made to be broken, they just don’t want the world to see them in this state – I don’t think the world would understand.
Chris: I don’t want the blogisode to end yet, I don’t want to go home right now!
Siri: I don’t want it to end either, I can’t fight the tears!
Chris: Time has flown in this blogisode! I’ve off to eat an apple – I’ve been craving it all show, for some reason. Thank you, Siri, it’s been fun. We must do this again – are you free next week?
Siri: NO! I’m off back home for Easter holidays!
Chris: Oh well, I’ll sort something out!
Siri: And I’ll tune in to read!