Hello internet! Welcome back to Mundanevision. We are back (audience applauds and Chris and Siri get showered in flowers). You’re too kind, you’re too kind, thank you, thank you – although that last guy could have taken his flowers out of the vase first! Anyway, let’s forget about that concussion and start the show…
Chris: Hey Siri!
Chris: So you’ve been away for a while, spilling truth. How much truth did you spill?
Siri: Not that much, I stayed in my room working for most of the holiday, so I didn’t talk to enough people to spill that much truth. However, I did listen to Justin Bieber a bit with my sister. Fortunately, it was mainly the song I like.
Chris: Is your sister a true Belieber?
Siri: Definitely, she had a defence for every single thing he did that annoyed the press and police and public over the last few years. Nothing is ever his fault. She loves him.
Chris: It’s almost like a religious experience when you’re a Belieber!
Siri: Yes, and a lot of people I know are slowly converting… it’s kind of worrying. Celebrities seem to have a lot of power and I think a lot of them could take over the world without too much trouble. Look at Donald Trump!
Chris: Let’s not talk about Donald Trump. Do you think he likes playing Top Trumps.
Siri: Everyone likes Top Trumps, although I suppose it depends on the kind of Top Trumps – I can also imagine him getting very angry and throwing the cards at his opponent.
Chris: I can just imagine Donald and Justin playing a game of Jenga, and one of them getting really upset and upsetting the Jenga tower.
Siri: Yes, and then maybe one of them will get crushed by it… not a bad thought.
Chris: God how big are the Jenga blocks you’re playing with?
Siri: This is Donald Trump we’re talking about, he has several of his own buildings, I think that he would find giant Jenga blocks from somewhere.
Chris: Do you think he plays giant Jenga with his own buildings?
Chris: Anyway, going back to Justin and his Beliebers, and the fact that he’s getting so popular now, do you think that will be a question on a form one day: “are you Roman Catholic, Sikh or Belieber”?
Siri: I really hope not.
Chris: No, that would be awful. Christopher Long, stating the obvious since 1980.
Siri: I feel like if he becomes popular enough then maybe people won’t agree that it’s too awful. Him and some other celebrities could probably combine to make their own religion, and eventually get everyone in the world on board. Imagine the Goo Goo Dolls and Justin Bieber forming a religion together.
Chris: No. I can’t imagine that.
Siri: It’s going to happen. No doubt about it.
Chris: Well I’ll still support the Goo Goo Dolls as musicians.
Siri: But will you convert to the Goo Goo Dolls’ (and Justin’s) religion?
Chris: I quite like beavers. They build damns. I’VE HAD A THOUGHT – Justin Bieber and Elton John and Chicago could all form a band, because they all have songs about sorry!
Siri: What are they all called?
Chris: Elton John’s got Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word and Chicago’s Hard to Say I’m Sorry.
Siri: Don’t forget Taylor Swift’s You’re Not Sorry.
Chris: Oh yes, sorry about that! I feel like if Elton John and Chicago are having problems with a word like sorry, they would have major problems with a word like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Siri: Yep, I couldn’t even spell it – I had to look it up!
Chris: Maybe that will be the B-Side of one of your songs – I can’t spell it.
Siri: My spelling is especially bad today. I blame the fact that I haven’t been reading enough. How is your book?
Chris: My book is good, it’s really good. I’m up to chapter thirteen.
Siri: Which one is it again?
Chris: It’s called Myran’s Gift by Fiona Macintosh. Right, after that quick product placement, we are back. There’s people of the world who are really confused now – “what?! Justin Bieber has written a book?!”.
Siri: Let’s do the afternoon girls.
Chris: The afternoon girls are back everybody. Please take the flowers out first. First off, that was a beautiful rendition. Right, let’s put some clues in the blog. I always feel like we should have Who Wants to be a Millionaire music in now. I’m going to go with: it’s not hard to say I’m sorry, it’s only three syllables. Guys, come on.
Siri: I just want you to know that I haven’t seen Who Wants to be a Millionaire!
Chris: You could win a holiday – you look like you need a holiday!
Siri: Yes, I suppose I could be swept away. Far away.
Chris: We’re in the middle of a blogisode, I could never let you go now!
Siri: I promise to not take part in WWtbaM while we are recording. Does that sound better?
Chris: Testing, testing. Is this on?
Siri: I don’t know what to say about a blogisode… do you record a blogisode? Or film a blogisode? Or type it?
Chris: This is live – I think we’re typing now, I think that’s what you’re doing, and I’m just talking.
Siri: Have the Afternoon Girls finished the song?
Chris: I think so. We mentioned the song earlier in the show, and I think people must have got it from the rhythmic hint I gave you earlier. And no, it’s nothing about millionaires, or shortbread! Millionaires’ shortbread – maybe we should have a baking section.
Siri: Well, it’s kind of to do with Millionaires because the people who sing the song are probably pretty rich now. And EVERYTHING in life should be about millionaires’ shortbread, it is delicious. One of my favourites.
Chris: Maybe when people get a question right on the show, they should get given a bit of shortbread, rather than a check. They’ve got a maximum of fifteen pieces of shortbread to win!
Siri: We’ve already written so many words…
Chris: Oh my gosh, time has flown. I’m going to get my bucket and spade and build sandcastles – it’s a lovely day. See you guys next week! Peace.