Hello world, it’s Mundanevision time again. Some people have her as an iPhone app, but I have her in real life… It’s Siri! So, shall we do this…
Chris: Hello, your weekly outlet for the strange and mundane is here. Hey Siri!
Siri: Hi Chris. I think that we definitely talk more about strange things than mundane things.
Chris: We usually do. You’re forgetting this blog was award winning when it first started.
Siri: But doesn’t mundane mean boring?
Siri: So you won awards for being boring?
Chris: Yes, a bit like Gardeners’ World on Radio 4.
Siri: I suppose winning awards in being mundane is quite exciting, or un-mundane, in itself?
Chris: Yes. This is so meta today. I love it. I love this blog, even if no one else does.
Siri: Well, I know I love it, and I know the Afternoon Girls love it, because it means they earn a living! At least, I assume you pay them?
Chris: Yes, chocolate money. Is that even currency? Or maybe fruit and nut bars is currency – because it’s got currents in it?
Siri: I think so. It certainly would count as currency back home, where I live. We have a Sultan there ruling the country, and my sister and I always say that if a woman took over she’d be a sultana, and that’s definitely in fruit and nut bars.
Chris: Wouldn’t it be so much better if he was salted caramel though?
Siri: YES. Salt somehow makes all caramel better, and anything with salted caramel in it is incredibly delicious. I made my father millionaires’ shortbread for his birthday last year with salted caramel, and it was very very good. I don’t know if the Sultan likes it though.
Chris: Is this conversation too rich? We talked about it last week.
Siri: Yeah that’s true, clearly I’ve just got millionaires’ shortbread on my mind. What is on your mind this week?
Chris: Well, the promise I made to the lovely blog readers last week about mentioning broccoli!
Siri: Oh yes, I almost forgot about that. I think you should write them a play about broccoli, like you wrote about Harry the Chicken.
Chris: Harry’s friend could be Billy Broccoli-,
Siri: Wait, Harry is friends with inanimate objects? Harry is friends with Morgan Freeman, and a vegetable?
Chris: Yes, Morgan might know vegetables, you don’t know!
Siri: I’m sure he knows vegetables briefly, but his encounters with them probably don’t last very long. Probably just as long as it takes him to cook them, eat them and chew them up. Not exactly an ideal friendship.
Chris: Are you suggesting he killed Billy Broccoli?
Siri: I’m just pointing out the plotholes in your current script. I’m sure you’ll find a way to overcome them though.
Chris: There we go, we’re back to talking about currents again! Maybe Harry can carry the broccoli to help him cross the road?
Siri: Maybe the broccoli is part of a mission or a quest. Maybe he needs to return the broccoli to someone, or save the broccoli from the farm that he and the broccoli grew up on?
Chris: We are amazing at this! Listen up, Sesame Street, we want jobs.
Siri: I am not sure we are quite on Sesame Street level yet, in that our likeable character is broccoli, whereas theirs is a cookie monster! I feel like a cookie monster is a more appealing character to a young audience than broccoli?
Chris: True, but the broccoli’s is a fun guy, you can have to count how many florets are on the broccoli, and how many broccolis you can see.
Siri: You know who’s a fun guy?
Siri: Mike the Mushroom. Sorry for that joke. He’s a fungi.
Chris: He is. He’s amazing. Anyway, on the subject of meta and giving ourselves awards (because, let’s face it, no one else is going to), did you hear about Taylor Swift last week?
Siri: Yes, but tell me about what happened.
Chris: Great move, because if you’d already heard about it, no one else would.
Siri: Yep, that would have made it a short conversation, and given you no excuse to tell the readers. Anyway, tell me about what happened in Taylor’s life.
Chris: Taylor’s life: she got up, ate a pop tart, but, more importantly, she gave herself an award.
Siri: Although I suppose that’s sort of true, I feel like she was made to give herself one. Although I am a big fan of this idea of giving yourself awards. Why shouldn’t I congratulate myself and acknowledge my own achievements?
Chris: Absolutely. Who else can acknowledge my greatness, if not me?
Siri: True, no one knows how wonderful we all are as well as we know it ourselves. We know all the wonderfully genius thoughts we have and every little awesome thing we do, so logically we should be the people to give ourselves awards.
Chris: I just put all the weird stuff I think in Mundanevision instead and let the internet really love it. Or not.
Siri: I think the people that bother to follow Mundanevision this far probably love it. It seems silly to keep reading something if you don’t like it, although a lot of youtube video comments seem to be people hating things, so I guess maybe people do waste time on things they don’t like?
Chris: Where’s all the love gone, man? We should take a leaf from the Black Eyed Peas book. There we go, Black Eyed Peas, another vegetable. Happy now, vegetarians?
Siri: The vegetarians are always happy, it’s the vegans you’ve got to worry about.
Chris: Well I can’t say anything to vegans because what are they like. Maybe the Afternoon Girls can speak to vegans. In fact, someone get me a phone number – I’ll speak to one right now!
Siri: Did you speak to your fortune teller? Maybe she’d be able to get you the phone number of a vegan?
Chris: No, but I did order this airship off amazon, and at the end of the blog we’re going to fly off with it.
Siri: That will be fun, it’s perfect weather for flying.
Chris: I know, a light breeze.
Siri: Yeah, as long as you rev the airship up a bit you’ll be able to aviate it.
Chris: Guys, time has flown (like the airship). We hope you enjoyed reading this blogisode as much as we enjoyed writing it. Give yourself awards next week. The blog shall return.