How to train your amoeba

Hey guys! Coming to you live and direct from a computer somewhere in the worldwide web. It is another blogisode of mundanevision (rapturous applause). Thank you thank you, you are far too kind. 

Chris: You know what I often wondered, why computer mice are called mice, surely if its the worldwide web they should be called spiders.

Poppy: Perhaps, I don’t know if the internet had been invented though when mice were.

Chris: I am not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but I just think we need a name more fitting to how people use computers. They spend most of their time online.

Poppy: This is true. If you do choose to reinvent the wheel or mouse at least you have a suitable name.

Chris: What about the hamster? They come with their very own wheels. Can you imagine the size of the desk you would need to accommodate the cage.

Poppy: Not to mention the smell.

Chris: They could come with an attached air freshner.

Poppy: I think you just want a pet.

Chris: This is true. I have seen big plastic rhinos around my local city too recently. A rhino is a bit too big for a house pet though.

Poppy: Yes, perhaps you should try something smaller to begin with, like a cat or something.

Chris: Although  if a rhino watches TV with you, you could get a very cool split screen effect.

Poppy: I think I’d get a headache from that, but for a time it would certainly be cool.

Chris: So something smaller, what about an amoeba? It would be a very inexpensive pet.

Poppy: Well it isnt big enough to get in the way of the TV that is for sure.

Chris: That is true, although hoovering would be a problem.

Poppy: That really would be a grave breech of trust.

Chris: You could always get the amoeba to hoover the hard to reach places like behind the fridge.

Poppy: I dont tend to hoover behind the fridge anyway so that will amoeba a job.

Chris: Oh thats very cold Poppy. I think they survive extreme temperature too, so that wouldnt be the problem. They could clean out the oven for you. Quite useful really.

Poppy: Yes, a practical pet indeed.

Chris: I am going to put an advertisement in the paper right now to get the amoeba to be my housemate. Think about it they have very few dietary requirements, wont get in front of the TV,  quiet, good at cleaning as we have already discussed. What do amoebas even eat. Are they vegan or vegetarian?

Poppy: the answer is the same for both… very little.

Chris: And when you get bored of the Amoeba being really small you feed it protein powder from Holland and Barrett so it could grow up big and strong. And then nobody will ever bully it, and it will know nothing of current crazes like pokemon go and designer fashion. It will be the perfect house guest.

Poppy: Well I think you have described what you expect from a housemate very clearly and I am sure that the applications will come flooding in soon.

Chris: Wait, can amoebas use email? or is there a particular site you need to log on to. There are 200 amoebas in your local area.

Poppy: And now you sound like a dating website.

Chris: Yes I should calm down – I am amoebricated.

Well I am off to advertise for an amoeba, I will let you know how I get on next week. Peace


About mundanevision

Every day could be a Mundanevision blogisode day, now that they are posting weekly .So Grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and get comfortable because you're going to read about the least trendy topics.It's a blog you really do want to miss...
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