Kangaroo Chocolate Sheeran

Hey guys! Welcome back to a brand new series of Mundanevision. Now, a lot of people ask me how I keep track of my various co-hosts for the blogisodes. I have a machine which prints out who I’ve done the show with every week, so let’s see who it is today. Activate the machine! *Beeping noises*… Hey, would you look at that, it’s Siri! *Applause*

Chris: Hey Siri! How are you?

Siri: Hiya Christopher! I am very well, I’ve just been watching the neverending drama that is Nashville. How are you?

Chris: Ah yes. Christopher, that’s a very formal introduction for the new series! Yes, Nashville. I do love Nashville. In fact, I was watching it with you before this blogisode – did you notice me?

Siri: Of course I noticed you, you were there when we were eating chocolates. How could I forget?

Chris: I think I need to practice my ninja skills a bit more, if you noticed me. I wore that balaclava for nothing!

Siri: No, the balaclava did a marvellous job of hiding you, but I could still hear the rustle of chocolate wrappers and the munching of happiness.

Chris: You mean the ladybird chocolates? (And before people write in their complaints, we don’t eat real ladybirds, but the wrappers made them look like ladybirds).

Siri: Yes, those. The only downside to ladybird chocolates is that ladybirds are quite small. I think that they could be slightly improved if they were kangaroo chocolates, or maybe blue whale chocolates. What do you think?

Image result for chocolate kangaroo

Chris: Let’s address the blue whale chocolates first… I think the chocolate would be really heavy on your stomach.

Siri: Yes, you might be right – maybe the safest animal that is also large is a human, because we don’t want to be eating a chocolate that is actually larger than ourselves.

Chris: The kangaroo chocolates you mentioned would bounce over the room. I don’t want to catch my meal. I don’t have very good hand-eye coordination.

Siri: Yes, a massive advantage to evolution and language and basically the 21st century is that we no longer have to catch our food, because Tesco and Waitrose and Sainsbury’s do that part for us.

Chris: I like to think that all Sainsbury’s food is captured by Ant and Dec or Jamie Oliver.

Image result for ant and dec

Siri: Do Ant and Dec do a lot of farming?

Chris: YES, they’d be really good at catching livestock because they can do a pincer movement – they can come at it from each side, the poor defenceless animal.

Siri: I don’t know about that, I think kangaroos could probably biff them pretty hard in their faces and escape. Jamie Oliver might stand more of a chance when it comes to catching kangaroos, as he probably knows what he’s doing slightly more – he seems intelligent.

Chris: I think you might be right, because if that kangaroo boxes Ant and Dec, can you imagine the bad press that kangaroos will get? People love Ant and Dec!

Siri: True, but I imagine that this is all happening in Australia, where kangaroos live, and I don’t know how the Australians feel about Ant and Dec. They are easily confused, so I’m not sure what they’ll make of their very strange names.

Chris: I think the Australians will love them and put them in some sort of nature reserve. Do you think there is one of those for forgotten celebrities?

Siri: There are probably places in the middle of nowhere in America where forgotten celebrities go to live the rest of their lives, but I think that there are lots of animal sanctuaries in Australia that would be happy to accommodate Ant and Dec – there was one I went to where I learnt that wombats aren’t actually a kind of bat, and I think that that would be a great place for people to learn that Ant isn’t actually a kind of insect.

Image result for wombat

Chris: I know that wombats aren’t actually bats. Aren’t they a pop group?

Siri: I don’t know if the Wombats is a pop group, I think I’ve hard of the Dungbats? Are they the same?

Chris: No, the Wombats, have you never heard of Techno Fan, or Anti-Depressants?

Siri: No, but I definitely want to hear them – are they any good or do you just know them?

Chris: I like both songs I’ve mentioned, but apart from that I’m not really a big fan. On the subject  of songs, I’ve got a surprise for you, because you climbed Kilimanjaro, which I’m guessing is the first time you’ve done it, I’m going to do something I’ve never done live on blog before!

Siri: WHAT IS IT???

Chris: I’m going to parody a song.

Siri: YAY! Which song are you parodying???

Chris: It’s Ed Sheeran’s one. The song is Don’t, and I’m making it about Mundanevision, so the lovely people of the internet can see what else I do in my spare time when I’m not doing these blogisodes with you.

Image result for ed sheeran don't

Siri: Great idea, shall we start?

Chris: Yes, let’s go!

Siri: Is it being sung by the Afternoon Girls?

Chris: No, they’re providing the music, but it’s being parodied by me! For those of you who don’t know (which is most of you) I parody pop songs. By that I mean that I write alternative lyrics, and make them hopefully better, or at least entertaining! If Ed Sheeran ever reads this, I’m really sorry…

 

I read this blog that’s on here

She said “it’s called Mundanevision, dear”

I told her “I really like reading the jokes they make,

And the past episodes have been so great”.

It’s finished now but in a week it returns

And I’m sure that the people of the internet will yearn.

But I didn’t have time to read it for a few nights,

So I bookmarked to make sure the website was right.

I haven’t laughed in months, I wish it was updated again.

I don’t want this show to end,

But there’s a distinct lack of men.

I can’t wait for the show to begin.

Chris and Siri, I really like them!

I wonder who the next co-host is that you will bring in.

She’s singing

“I like this blogisode.

It is pure gold

They don’t do any harm

With the jokes they make.”

“I like this blogisode.

The browser’s down again

I wish it would reload

Just open that page!”

I really like this website,

I only want to be here

This blog is good and

I really like this feature.

I want to thank word press

And also all the readers.

We would like to take you all out for a virtual pizza,

Or maybe a trip to Ibiza?

Either way, we really want to meet you.

We’ve even got an in-studio creature

The sloth produces our shows the same way

I’m really lucky we don’t write four shows a day!

And fame’s never been what it’s about,

But maybe we’ll go together and just figure it out.

We’d rather write this for the love of it than be famous now

We’ve just got yet another like – wow!

But we’re writing on the internet now

We’d rather have this blog than be on TV now,

But thanks to you this blog has taken off – how?

“I like this blogisode.

It is pure gold

They don’t do any harm

With the jokes they make.”

“I like this blogisode.

The browser’s down again

I wish it would reload

Just open that page!”

Tap tap tap

We want to write more

Wait until next week

To see what’s in store.

Our word count is over

But I already told ya

We’ll be back in a few days

With even more!

Before our readers get vexed

Don’t get upset over what’s been said,

that’s all.

I’m really glad we have a studio pet

Because we really can’t do it alone,

Of course.

It’s not like that this show’s forced

We really are both friends, of course.

And we are just looking for likes and comments

But the co-hosts are chosen

For their level of commitment.

I think when you’ve got chemistry you’ve just got it.

And of course the co-hosts all really love it.

They are all singing

“I like this blogisode.

It is pure gold

They don’t do any harm

With the jokes they make.”

“I like this blogisode.

The browser’s down again

I wish it would reload

Just open that page!”

“I like this blogisode.

It is pure gold

They don’t do any harm

With the jokes they make.”

“I like this blogisode.

The browser’s down again

I wish it would reload

Just open that page!”

 

Chris: WOW, that was intense! We are really sorry, you will have to provide your own Ed Sheeran backing music, we aren’t able to get Ed to come in and play for you. The song is Don’t, if you didn’t know – youtube it! That’s it – thank you Siri, and thanks to me! We are actually back to do another special on Wednesday.

Siri: See you then folks! Peace.

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About mundanevision

Every day could be a Mundanevision blogisode day, now that they are posting weekly .So Grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and get comfortable because you're going to read about the least trendy topics.It's a blog you really do want to miss...
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