Hello Hello! Welcome Welcome Welcome to a brand new blogisode of the show that is always random: Mundanevision!
Siri: CHRIS! How’s life treating you today?
Chris: We could just shout each other’s names for the rest of the blogisode.
Siri: We could, but I think we’d drop our number of readers pretty quickly, sadly.
Chris: So, life is treating me well. There’s been no crumbling cooking shows this week, or celebrity break ups, which is good.
Siri: That’s probably true, although I’ve heard that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are hanging out a lot since her divorce.
Chris: Woah, can I just stop you there! I thought you were going to say that they read Mundanevision – I was going to get starstruck!
Siri: Oh, I thought you already knew that all the celebrities read Mundanevision. You actually are not allowed to become a celebrity unless you read it, it’s an entry criterion.
Chris: Well, that’s pretty good going considering I started this blog not even a year ago!
Siri: I think that whoever you started it with is secretly a celebrity – she probably IS Angelina Jolie, but is living a Hannah Montana kind of life, and she made the rules that you have to read Mundanevision to be a celebrity. And they get tested on what we’ve talked about weekly.
Chris: Woah! Good of them to keep up, with the topics – not even I know what we’re going to say next. It’s like blog Tourette’s. So back to Jolie and Depp, do you think that one of the reasons is that he’s good at dress making, what with scissors attached to his hands most of the time?
Siri: That’s almost certainly the entire reason, yes. You know, I was thinking the other day that our blog is a lot better than many peoples, because we’re not interrupted by messages from the sponsors the whole time. A lot of podcasts I listen to have sponsors speaking more than the people! We could probably earn millions if we got some sponsors in!
Chris: DRINK RIBENA! Sorry, you were saying…
Siri: YES, and buy CHOCOLATE from THE NEW CHOCOLATE PLACE IN EXETER! (Hi Chococo, please give us free things!) But onto other news, you were saying something about Trump and how wonderful he is?
Chris: Ah yes, he’s such a wonderful man. If Trump is reading this, I think the opposite of this last statement.
Siri: You always hear about celebrities whose lives have been made so difficult by internet trolls and people being so mean to them, and it affects their self-esteem and happiness really badly. I wonder if Trump is just entirely immune to this, or if he’s keeping his depression and self-loathing VERY VERY well hidden?
Chris: Maybe his hair is depressed – it used to be an affro, and it just deflated itself all the time with all the mean comments that people say and write.
Siri: Can you imagine what the human race would look like if your hair style changed itself depending on your mood? It would be amazing!
Chris: It’s a bit like a mood ring rivival, but it wouldn’t be mood rings, it would be mood hair.
Siri: I heard recently that the guy who invented mood rings is insanely rich, which seems weird since mood rings aren’t very expensive and also don’t actually work. How did he make all his money?
Chris: Can you imagine the amount of rings he’s got?
Siri: Yeah, he probably sells these fake magical mood rings just so he has lots and lots of money to buy really special rings.
Chris: We’ve just had a look and we can’t actually find the name of the guy who invented mood rings – maybe aliens invented them?
Siri: My friends and I always used to think that the gooey alien toys that were really popular in about 2002 were real evil aliens that had been sent to the earth to take over our brains, one child at a time. It was a very paranoid time for us.
Chris: And they’re trying to sit really still, because they’re not supposed to move.
Siri: My sister swore she saw hers moving sometimes!
Chris: Maybe we’re under-covered a secret government plot, we’re the blog equivalent of Mulder and Scully! Incidentally, Gillian Anderson is back tonight on TV in the Fall! HELLO The Fall, I love you, please sponsor our blog!
Siri: The Fall sounds incredible because it’s got British and Irish people in it!
Chris: It is amazing. I watched the first two seasons in two weeks.
Siri: That’s my kind of TV show – I watched 4 and a half seasons of Merlin in under 4 days. It was a very indoor time of my life – I didn’t leave my room.
Chris: Were you seeing dragons voiced by John Hurt at the end of it?
Siri: I actually, whenever I binge watch a TV show I start thinking I can see the actors everywhere! So I remember after I watched Merlin I flew back to school for the next term, and I was CONVINCED someone two rows in front of me on the plane was Bradley James, who plays Arthur. I still remember being so disappointed. But no, I didn’t see any dragons sadly, the plane could have been a dragon, I suppose?
Chris: I bet after you got off, the guy you thought was Arthur turned around and got Excalibur down from the overhead locker. Come to think of it, would they allow a sword in the hand luggage?
Siri: I think if you’re Arthur, armed with Merlin and the Knights of the Round Table, you could probably do whatever you want on an aeroplane!
Chris: Where would the Knights of the Round Table sit on an aeroplane? Would they be opposite each other or next to each other? Or would there be arguments over who sits by a window?
Siri: I guess because equality is the whole thing with the round table, they’d probably have to rearrange all the chairs on the plane – you can’t have some people sitting in window or aisle seats when others are stuck in the middle, and then with emergency exit rows you get more leg room, so how do you decide that?
Chris: Joust for it! Hold a tournament in the aisle!
Siri: That’s SUCH a good idea – I can’t think of any problems with that or any way that holding a jousting tournament on an aeroplane might go wrong.
Chris: I mean, you might stab a few people, but collateral damage, y’know? It serves you right, Mrs Smith, you shouldn’t have got up to use the toilet at that precise moment. I’m sorry I gave you concussion with my mace, but you did let little Johnny run around!
Siri: Is this Johnny Depp that we are talking about again? Is it like a Pirates of the Caribbean meets Merlin thing on an aeroplane? Because I would DEFINITELY watch that show!
Chris: They’re in first class, obviously. It could be bound for the Caribbean?
Siri: Yes that sounds like a good idea – we’ve moved a long way since my trip back to boarding school, now we are holding inter-film/tv show jousting tournaments around round tables in first class!
Chris: GUYS, we love doing this so much that we always overrun! We don’t run over, that would be a different problem.
Siri: And hopefully not a problem you’d get on an aeroplane.
Chris: How would we get the horses on for the jousting portion of the competition?
Siri: Maybe there are helicopters like the one from Everest flying around the plane and they somehow move the horses over? Maybe the aliens help?
Chris: On fishing lines, and then lower them down? Or maybe one of those claws from the fair ground?
Siri: I like that, I think there should be a giant box of horses, and each member of Arthur’s squad and Johnny Depp’s buddies should have to play the claw game to pick their horse. I think they should have done that in Harry Potter with dragon picking too.
Chris: I think this could very easily turn into Mundanevision the computer game, we could develop it and put it on the app store – it would be amazing. If anyone in developing apps reads this blog, please please make that happen! Right guys, one final thought – were do internet trolls live? Where are the bridges on line?
Siri: Good question! Let us know guys, and we’ll type to you next time! Bye!