Hello, please note that Mundanevision will be recorded for entertainment purposes. Welcome to the show, guys!
Chris: Ahh, Siri, we’ve been expecting you.
Siri: That sounds frightening, I feel as if you should be stroking a cat.
Chris: We haven’t got a cat, but we’ve got a sloth and he doesn’t like being stroked – believe me, I’ve tried already! So, we’ve got so much to talk about!
Siri: Oh yes? What’s been going on in the world this week?
Chris: Kim Kardashian has been robbed!
Siri: I heard, quite a shock! She’s had a very turbulent year so far. I’ve also heard lots of stuff about her younger sister, Kylie, not being sympathetic enough. There seems to be lots of drama, but let’s not talk too much about that, that’s what Keeping Up With The Kardashians is for!
Chris: The thing that shocks me about this story is that I though Keeping Up With the Kardashians was a reality show about athletes, and I thought they would be good over short distances. Did I just get that really confused?
Siri: Yeah, that’s not what they meant by “keeping up” I’m afraid. Although I think Caitlyn Jenner used to be an athlete? An Olympic runner maybe?
Chris: I owe the blogisphere an apology then, I’m really not informed! And neither is Mundanevision!
Siri: Well, the cohosts of Mundanevision went to see Girl On a Train on THE VERY DAY it was released, so we do keep up with the world a little bit.
Chris: The co-hosts! You make it sound like a club! Yes, I was going to bring this up. It wasn’t quite a red carpet premier, it was more like a blue carpet with pattern on.
Siri: I wasn’t paying any attention to the carpet – I don’t know how you pried your eyes away from the screen for long enough!
Chris: A pro at work! I don’t really know what colour the carpet was, but it wasn’t a red carpet premier so it must have been something else.
Siri: It would have been cool if it were the red carpet premier – then Emily Blunt would have been there!
Chris: The most we can hope for is blue carpet premiers, we are not famous enough to do red ones.
Siri: Maybe we could befriend some celebrities and then they could take us? You’ve already met the Goo Goo Dolls, and members of the awesome band Wildwood Kin.
Chris: Let’s not go on about my celebrity hob nobbing. And because anybody writes in, that does not mean eating biscuits of celebrities, I think it means meeting them. But again, I’m not really sure!
Siri: Yes, if you eat them they certainly won’t take you to any premiers with them!
Chris: Yes that would be very bad to build a friendship upon. But yes, I’ve met the Goo Goo Dolls and also Wildwood Kin! Back to Girl on a Train – the film was amazing!
Siri: YES, you should all see it (please give us some money or free tickets, Girl on a Train cast and crew!!!)
Chris: Do you think Girl on a Bus will be the low budget version or sequel?
Siri: I think it could be, and then it would have to be advertised on trains instead, but I can’t think of what the plot would be… Can you?
Chris: It would still be the same except the train wouldn’t be running one day, it would be a replacement bus service. If we can get snakes on a plane, we can get Emily Blunt on a bus surely!
Siri: Definitely, that would 100% work for a low budget version (although I’m not convinced that Emily Blunt would be in it), but a sequel would have to have a different plot. Would she still have an alcohol problem?
Chris: Probably not. They don’t allow drinking on public buses. The low budget version can be Girl on an Uber Taxi. It’s a prequel actually, she’s whizzing across London to catch a train.
Siri: Aha, so it takes place the same days but just slightly earlier in the morning. And the uber drive must be pretty short because there are so many tube stations on every corner, so the ride wouldn’t take too long.
Chris: Well, it’s a short film.
Siri: I like it already.
Chris: Maybe shot in black and white to be atmospheric?
Siri: Yeah, can it take place a few decades earlier? And then there can be some kind of creepy link between the two stories?
Chris: What, you mean like Girl on a Horse and Cart?
Siri: Flipping Henry, you’re writing the whole series!!!
Chris: If you think about it, at least 50% of the population are girls, so we’ve got a lot of girls and a lot of mode of transport to get through. Flipping Henry could be involved, he could be the burger wagon she passes!
Siri: Very clever – I was thinking one of the modes of transport would be trampolining or bungee jumping and that’s why Henry is flipping! Maybe he’s making burgers at the same time?
Chris: Or space hopping! Yes, but he is making burgers at the same time. Listen up, Hollywood, we’ve got ideas!
Siri: I don’t know why you haven’t written all of these film ideas already! You’d be a multimillionaire! I suppose you’re too busy reading actual series on your kindle and getting hooked on those!
Chris: Yes, I do love a good book series!
Siri: I haven’t read a book series properly since maybe the Series of Unfortunate Events when I was ten. Did you read those?
Chris: No, wasn’t that the film with Jim Carey in?
Siri: I think he might have played Count Olaf in the film, but I avoided watching it because I love the books and hate Jim Carey enough for me not to want to see them together!
Chris: Hate is a strong word, where’s the love?
Siri: The love is how I feel towards the books, Jim Carey gets none of it.
Chris: I saw a bit of that film, but never read any of the books, so I can’t share your love.
Siri: You’ve read a lot of other great book series though!
Chris: Shall I mention them here?
Siri: I think you should wait until they sponsor us before doing that. You can’t keep promoting things with nothing in return (except obviously the great experience of having read or watched them!).
Chris: [Hold music]. Actually, we do have a new piece of technology in the studio. Everybody say “ooooooh”…
Siri (and Afternoon Girls and Sloth): Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Chris: We have the latest hands-free blogging technology!
Siri: What is it???
Chris: Shall we turn it on and see what happens?
Siri (and Afternoon Girls and Sloth): YES.
Chris: okay… I’m pressing the button now…
H-F BE: Hello. Welcome to your hands free blogging experience. Please say the name of the blog you’d like to add to.
H-F BE: I didn’t understand that. Did you say “Nuclear Fusion”?
Chris: No, Mundanevision.
H-F BE: Do you want to add to the wrong direction?
Chris: Siri, you try, it’s just not understanding!
H-F BE: Sorry, I didn’t understand that.
H-F BE: Sorry, did you say “that was a near collision”.
Siri: As fantastic as this technology seems, I think maybe we should leave the robots alone.
Chris: I think we should do it the old fashioned way.
Siri: I agree completely. BUT, speaking of robots, the fantastic TV show Humans is coming back in a few weeks!
H-F BE: Did you say “moomans”?
Chris: Oh, I’ve left it on! I’m so sorry. Right, somebody turn it off. Sorry guys, what a complete waste of time! The man on the Embankment ensured me that that was the latest technology!
Siri: You can never trust these Embankment men.
Chris: I should have listened to my mum – that’s exactly what she said! Let’s hear the new tune from the Afternoon Girls, I’m demoralised after that! Thank you Afternoon Girls, that was very pretty. I suppose we should give clues as to what that was? Well, this one is not one of their famous ones, but we can give it a go – somebody might get it!
Siri: I’m glad the Afternoon Girls performed, even though it’s late now.
Chris: Yes, I’m glad we waited for that.
Siri: Some days you need to be alone, but it’s always a good day to listen to the Afternoon Girls. It makes you feel so much better.
Chris: I wish they would remove that blowfish from the studio – it’s looking at me. I don’t like it.
Siri: And it’s making that annoying Tooting sound. Can you hear it?
Chris: Oh yes, I can hear it!
Siri: I think that’s plenty clue enough!
Chris: Yes, so are we talking, are we wrapping up, is it Christmas already?
Siri: I think so, our readers have stayed with us for 1,500 words now, so I think it’s time to sign off and see them next week!
Chris: Great idea, that’s the show, guys. Peace.