Hello cats and ktitens! Welcome to another exciting blogisode of Mundanevision! We are live (not on facebook live), thank you very much for joining us.
Chris: Hey Siri. How are you doing?
Siri: Very very very well, thank you. What about yourself, Chris?
Chris: I am very well, thank you – I’m very excited about this blogisode! Gosh, I love Thursdays, when we get to do this!
Siri: ME TOO, and there are LOTS of things that have been going on in the world – the news, the celebrity drama, my life even – that we can talk about!
Chris: You’re not just coming up with random titles for my autobiography?
Siri: No, I’ll get you to name my autobiography, you’re much better at coming up with puns and funny titles than I am!
Chris: We balance each other out.
Siri: Definitely. So, what exciting has been going on with you?
Chris: I’ve been watching lots of NowTV.
Siri: Why would anyone not watch NowTV?
Chris: I know! PLEASE, NOWTV, SPONSOR US! If somebody new has been reading that, they wouldn’t know what we’ve been talking about. Read the older blogisodes, and you will find out. It’s really very exciting. As is everything on Mundanevision!
Siri: That’s why we call it Mundanevision, because everything on it is groundbreakingly fascinating!
Chris: I think that would be a good name for a professor, Groundbreaking Leigh Fascinating. Before we go any further, I want to talk about the degradation of the English language.
Siri: Ooh, one of my favourite topics, and favourite David Mitchell videos!
Chris: I know it’s a bit of a heavy subject, but stick with us! Being sick has changed to being a good thing now. I kept thinking during the week, how that one word could break the NHS! Imagine if you’ve just recruited a young doctor and you phone up and say you’re sick. He wouldn’t diagnose you, he would just congratulate you on having a clean bill of health!
Siri: Yes, I can imagine people running into doctors’ surgeries shouting “I’M SICK” and all the doctors just standing up and clapping in celebration.
Chris: But if sick now means well, does well mean sick? “I’m well” “what’s wrong with you?” “The machines must be faulty, I can’t find anything wrong with you!”
Siri: And if that’s true, then when people say “I’m well sick”, what does that mean?
Chris: It means they’re very confused. We should write the Urban Medical Dictionary.
Siri: I think we’d be very good at that. It might only have 2 words in it, but that’s still a pretty good dictionary.
Chris: We can get away with it – large print! That way it will actually fill up more than two pages. You see, I’m always thinking.
Siri: Yep, not just a hatrack my friends. How many pages are you thinking this dictionary will have then?
Chris: I don’t know, like 50? 50 – The sick amount.
Siri: We can list lots of examples of using the words, and maybe even get more than 100 pages.
Chris: Oh, I like you’re thinking, it’s like writing an essay up. And we have to use Ariel, because that’s a slightly larger font than Times New Roman.
Siri: Also Ariel looks nicer than Times New Roman, AND it’s the name of a mermaid.
Chris: This is very true! What is Times New Roman named after? A newspaper?
Siri: Yes, I think it’s actually a magical future-telling font. It’s named after a newspaper that hasn’t actually started yet. See, what’s going to happen is in a few centuries time the UK (or what’s left of it anyway, it might just be Cornwall or something at that stage!) will be invaded by some angry Europeans still pushing for the EU, and they will be named the New Romans, and that will be their newspaper.
Chris: And we will be the new gods!
Siri: The two of us will, anyway. We were the genius fortunetellers that realised it. And also we voted remain so we are extra awesome gods.
Chris: Before we give ourselves the god complex, which means we would go around smiting other blogs – TRAVEL BLOG, I SMITE THEE – there are other topics that interest us, like the new Dan Brown film book.
Siri: Oh yes, Inferno. That’s actually on soon, if you were planning on going to see it.
Chris: Yes, I think I might because Tom Hanks is a lead role again, and it’s about conspiracy theories again. I like to think that Inferno came from a particularly angry critic, who said “burn this after reading”, and Dan Brown thought “INFERNO, that’s a brilliant title”.
Siri: Almost certainly, it’s rare that people DON’T name their books after bad reviews. He obviously wants to own the bad press he got.
Chris: And he is! I like to see that he has moved on from the Da Vinci Code digital fortress, Angels and Demons was about yet another code. Isn’t he bored of codes?
Siri: The whole world is quite interested in codes, so even if Dan Brown is bored, he’s playing to his audience. Think of things like the Imitation Game as well, was a massive hit.
Chris: Oh yes. There’s one other book I missed out, something with a pyramid in Paris.
Siri: There’s a pyramid outside the Louvre museum, which is where the Da Vinci Code film starts. Is that what you’re thinking of?
Chris: OH, the lost symbol, that’s the one!
Siri: Is that the name of the fourth book in the series?
Chris: Yes, I don’t know where they’re up to now.
Siri: Ooh, last I knew there were only 4. It’s been about 6 years since I thought about Dan Brown, to be honest! But I’m looking forward to Inferno nonetheless.
Chris: He needs to write a fourth one actually encoded in the other books.
Siri: Maybe he already has?
Chris: I think that Dan Brown didn’t like the film the Imitation Game because it was cracking his codes far too quickly!
Siri: I’m sure Benedict Cumberbatch could crack all Dan Brown’s codes without needing the help of that film, or Alan Turing. Although, people say a lot of bad things about Dan Brown’s writing style, but he clearly writes good plots anyway. I certainly couldn’t think of the clever things he thinks of!.
Chris: There’s only one man who could… 80s film legend and code breaker Indiana Jones.
Siri: VERY TRUE. Why has there not been a Da Vinci Code Indiana Jones crossover yet?
Chris: You mean Da Vinci Jones?
Siri: I feel like that would be the name of Leonardo Da Vinci and Indiana’s child – their last name would be Da Vinci-Jones.
Chris: Very smart. We’re much smarter than I give us credit for.
Siri: Beware, we’re heading towards the god complex territory again!
Chris: I could never be a god, I’m not complex enough.
Siri: Yeah, I suppose that’s true. I don’t even understand God, so I’m definitely not sophisticated enough to be Her.
Chris: We need to get Richard Dawkins in.
Siri: Next time, on Mundanevision!
Siri: Richard, please sponsor us!
Chris: Time has flown, guys! We haven’t even talked about other stuff.
Siri: I know, I wanted to talk about the Nobel Prizes, and Miley Cyrus being pansexual, and my self defence classes I’m taking. But oh well, there’s always another week.
Chris: The readers will have to imagine those topics.
Siri: Yes. And also, readers, go and see the BFG. I saw it on Tuesday and it was very good. Please sponsor us.
Chris: Roald Dahl? No, I think he’s dead. He could be our silent partner, surely?
Siri: Yes, I was going to name him, but then I remembered he’s been dead for 26 years! Maybe he’s God?
Chris: Is that how long we’ve been doing this blog for?
Siri: It certainly seems so. Anyway, we’ll sign off now!
Chris: We feel cleansed. I hope you feel entertained, I’ll see you next week. Peace.