[Soft piano music]
Oh, hello. It’s funny that out of all the blogs on the world wide web, you clicked on ours! And we’re glad you did, welcome to this blogisode.
Chris: Hello co-host!
Siri: Hello Chris. What a fine day it is today.
Chris: It is a lovely day. I especially like Thursdays because we get to broadcast this to the lovely people of the internet. Twitter, Facebook, or however you consume your social media, but no snapchat – I would never snap at people.
Siri: Yes, we don’t want to angrily snap at you. Just angrily tweet.
Chris: I feel sorry for facebook because snapchat is snapping and twitter is tweeting, and what has facebook got? Just posting? It doesn’t sound right.
Siri: Yes, when people communicate on facebook they either “post” or “message” or “write on a wall” or “update their status”, there’s not facing or booking or anything!
Chris: It’s like vandalism, that phrase. It’s like vandalism, that phrase – “writing on their wall”. It’s like legal vandalism.
Siri: That’s not a way I ever looked at it before, but I suppose you’re right.
Chris: I mean, when I was a toddler I was told not to write on walls because my mum would have to spend time cleaning it off, but now kids must be being told “write on the wall, it’s good practice”!
Siri: Yes, the next thing we know there’ll be a social media platform where you stick paperclips in the plug socket or something, and then kids will start doing that too!
Chris: What would that be called? Electric?
Siri: I was thinking Sparks.
Chris: Ah, Sparks. Opinions fly on sparks, I like it.
Siri: Why thank you, for the first time in Mundanevision history I had a good idea! You’re normally the entrepreneurial type.
Chris: You could say it was a light bulb moment.
Siri: And now we’re back to you being the word play genius.
Chris: Not really, just that. I think I’ll lie down now.
Siri: Wise idea, I think that going to sleep for the election results in the States is a good idea. But let’s not talk about that, you’ve probably had enough of Trump Talk. So, what’s being going on since our last blogisode?
Chris: Looking at the debate polls, it looks like a game of risk. Very high risk. I was shocked last night to see that word searches – now everybody knows that word searches are something in a local paper where you search for words and you use a pen to outline the words, AND have a fun time – but now it’s gone all high-tech, they’ve made it out of plastic, with pegs.
Siri: What do you mean? (Unintentional Justin Bieber quote) How does that even work?
Chris: According to the advert I saw last night, you put pegs in the board where the words are, and then if somebody spots your word you lose your pegs and the person with the most pegs at the end of the game wins.
Siri: So it’s somehow a multi-player version of wordsearches?
Chris: Yes, in plastic.
Siri: They’re making it more and more difficult to be a citizen of the world if you don’t have any friends. You can’t really play cards by yourself, except solitaire, and soon you won’t be able to do crosswords either!
Chris: I never do crosswords, I’m too happy.
Siri: Yeah, what did the words ever do to make you so cross at them?
Chris: this is what I’d like to know too. Are the kids of today incapable of picking up a pen unless it looks like a circle or triangle of an xbox remote?
Siri: Very good question. I was reading an article about how great Bic is as a company because they made such a simple product that is still in the height of its selling lifespan, but sooner or later pens will become obsolete.
Chris: That sounds like the tagline of a film – “Pens will become obsolete”.
Siri: For some reason it reminds me of Humans, but I don’t know why… I guess maybe because that show makes me think that humans will in a way become obsolete.
Chris: It’s starting again soon. Hi Humans creators, please sponsor us!
Siri: When you said “Humans creators”, it kind of sounds like you’re just talking about God.
Chris: No I’m talking about the TV show, starting soon on Channel 4 with Colin Morgan. Hi Channel 4, please sponsor us! I know you’re busy now with Bake Off and the rising viewing figures (get it, as in cake rising!) but do you have time to make this into a very successful blog, where we get guest stars and everything?
Siri: Well, the way Mundanevision is at the moment, we could easily just pretend to have guest stars. No one would know. But I don’t think we need to because we are the biggest stars of all.
Chris: But we would know. We’d be blogging a lie! We’d be lying!
Siri: True I suppose. You’re just too moral a person to make Mundanevision a successful interview guest star show.
Chris: A. Moral sounds like a great first guest. Anthony Moral stars in a new indie film.
Siri: I think it sounds fantastic. And if we interview people that don’t actually exist, is it more lying or not?
Chris: Considering the whole blogisode is what is in our heads anyway, inventing a chat between us, I don’t think it would matter! You know what, Channel 4, we don’t need you, we’re quite happy being niche thank you!
Siri: Having said that, if you want to give us money then please give us money.
Chris: Funnily enough, that leads into a charity event that’s happening on Channel 4 tonight. Stand Up for Cancer.
Siri: Let me guess, that’s a play on words because we need to stand up in support of cancer treatment, but also it’s a stand up comedy event?
Chris: How very good, I assure you that would work for Channel 4.
Siri: Well, you’ve taught me to spot puns and word play wherever there’s an opportunity.
Chris: We’re like superheroes.
Siri: We ARE superheroes.
Chris: Not very good ones, considering we’ve just given away our secret identities.
Siri: I would argue that what makes a good superhero isn’t whether or not they stay a secret, but rather how much good they do and how many lives they save. We brighten thousands of lives with our blog.
Chris: If just one person likes this blog then it’s fine. Hang on, stop the show… I’ve been told that the sloth is not producing the show today! We’ve put the unicorn in instead. Hang on that is just a myth, I’m sorry.
Siri: Yes, unicorns aren’t real, but blogisode-producing sloths are.
Chris: Absolutely. And you don’t want to anger him now – it will take him at least two days to take vengeance on us.
Siri: It’s kind of a miracle that our blogs ever come out on time.
Chris: Depends, what your concept of time is.
Siri: Oh no, we’ve gone into the philosophical brain-hurty place again.
Chris: It’s a time loop! Quick!
Siri: Talking of all this real/unreal stuff, Halloween is coming soon!
Chris: Maybe we could do a Halloween special?
Siri: Yes, that will be next week’s episode definitely. It will be Thanksgiving when we do that episode, but Halloween will make a better theme for an episode, I think.
Chris: What a turkey.
Siri: Yes, we’ll just spend an hour gobblegobblegobbling away at each other.
Chris: Sounds good to me! Oh well, I’m sure that there are important issues in the world that we could have covered, but I don’t want to.
Siri: Yes, I much prefer living in this magical mythical Halloweeny world.
Chris: Wait, the unicorn was late! He was here! He just galloped in.
Siri: Yes, and look at all the centaurs and witches and pixies following the unicorn!
Chris: Excuse me! We didn’t book you guys until next week – get out. Okay, I think that’s our blogisode folks. Thank you very much for reading and laughing. If you didn’t laugh, maybe next week’s will be funnier. Like Bake Off, we must be off! Peace.