Hi, elves and santas. Welcome to blogisode 101 of mundanevision. Our Christmas special. We hope you enjoy our gift to you.
Chris: Hey Poppy, I am feeling very festive, are you festive.
Poppy: Umm.. Well I haven’t bought any presents so I guess not…
Chris: Amazon is the way to go. Amazon helped me out a lot this year. Not Alexa the amazon echo, but proper traditional amazon, I feel its very important to keep up traditions this time of the year.
Poppy: Yes, this time of year is all about traditions. Do you have any interesting traditions?
Chris: Interesting traditions… No, no, just turkey and a big family gathering. Oh and I track Santa on Christmas eve.
Poppy: Oh yes, is that via Norad?
Chris: Yes it’s the Norad one, I wonder where the tracker is on Santa’s sleigh. Do you think it could be in Rudolf’s nose?
Poppy: Possibly, but I guess Father Christmas must need some sort of navigation system so perhaps the signal bounce off each other?
Chris: Like GPS, but FCGPS.
Poppy: Yes! But that also sounds like a football team.
Chris: Maybe it is, Father Christmas has to do something the rest of the year, and for the elves dashing around the workshop must get involved.
Poppy: Oh yes no doubt. Probably creating footballs out of scrunched up wrapping paper.
Chris: What an image. I think you have transported us to the football team headquarters at the North Pole. I wonder if there is an offshoot of FIFA governing them.
Poppy: I think FIFA will be asking for a new reputation for Christmas.
Chris: If anyone can build a reputation the elves can. I have a few questions about Christmas, and I think this blog is the right forum to air them. When does a sausage become a pig in a blanket, and do the pigs have to be known as sausages for the festive period?
Poppy: I think they are pigs in blankets as soon as they are wrapped up nice and cosily in bacon. As for the renaming of pigs I do not know, although I shouldn’t think they enjoy being named after the food they will soon become.
Chris: That’s really cruel for the pigs, its supposed to be the season of good will. I am also wondering in summer the same sausages become known as pigs in sombrero’s?
Poppy: Are they no hot dogs?
Chris: Not if they swim in the sea. And does Rudolph the red nose reindeer (copyright) wear his red nose all year round, or is it a seasonal thing?
Poppy: Maybe its only when it’s cold enough?
Chris: So you think Rudolph goes undercover the rest of the year as a horse to make sure children are nice?
Poppy: Yeah, he has nothing better to be doing with his time in all honesty.
Chris: Either that or he is a real big supporter of red nose day.
Poppy: It is a very good charity to be involved with, who knew Rudolph was such a nice reindeer.
Chris: I wonder whether the other reindeer have special charities they support.
Poppy: What like the royal family? I hope so.
Chris: Well Dancer is good at dancing so he supports the Royal Ballet School. And Dasher is quite athletic so he helps the lottery funding for sport. And the others are just really nice reindeer.
Poppy: I really hope that is true.
Chris: Of course its true Christmas is such a magical time of the year.
Poppy: Anymore festive questions please do get in touch.
Chris: Oh I will, considering I am sitting across from you. Thy are all my festive questions for now though, if anyone else has any please ask your Mum or Dad. You know what I heard on the radio today? Brad Pitt won’t be having a very good Christmas.
Poppy: Oh really, how so?
Chris: He apparently has to have supervised visits with his children.
Poppy: Oh that’s terribly sad, I think you have to feel sorry for the children in that situation, it must be very difficult.
Chris:Yes I do as well, Sorry for being so serious that was a genuine piece of news. The other other bit of news is Cruz Beckham’s Christmas single.
Poppy: I can not pretend I have even heard it, sorry!
Chris: Oh well, its a small child doing a Christmas song, probably best to avoid it. Let’s wrap it up, you get the wrapping paper I will get the cellotape. Thank you very much for sticking with us. Merry Christmas everyone.