Hello everyone! Is your pet laying two meters away from the computer with their lead pointing towards the keyboard? If yes: maybe you should follow it’s lead and read this exciting blogisode of Mundanevision. You’d be barking mad to miss it.
Chris: Hey Siri.
Chris: I couldn’t believe how many dog puns I fitted into that intro.
Siri: I’m desperately trying to think of a dog pun in response.
Chris: You’re barking up the wrong tree! To balance it out we should now do cat puns, but I don’t think cats read blogs.
Siri: They definitely don’t read blogs as often as dogs do.
Chris: I wanted to talk to you about a brilliant idea for a new TV show I’ve come up with.
Siri: Ooh, what’s it called?
Chris: We spoke about it before in our real lives.
Siri: This is our real life too!
Chris: But for the people who are reading this blog, I should explain. The show is called Continuity Error.
Siri: What happens?
Chris: The idea of continuity error is that nothing is off limits. If somebody suddenly looks difference in one scene and the audience picks up on it for being a continuity error, we say “that’s what we are going for”.
Siri: So it’s like a game? See if you can spot all the continuity errors?
Chris: Yes. And the cast might change from season to season, we just don’t know what will happen!
Siri: Does it have a plot as well?
Chris: I don’t know about a plot, but I have spent a lot of time thinking of all the continuity errors I could put in. You and your rational mind!
Siri: That’s okay, I’ll be in charge of the plot. What are more of the continuity errors you’ve thought of?
Chris: So the cast can change from season to season, the characters can suddenly be older for no apparent reason (that was the main one).
Siri: I assume things like objects mysteriously moving between takes would also be okay?
Chris: Yes. And I shall be critically acclaimed no matter what the critics say!
Siri: That’s the biggest perk of running a show like this!
Chris: And to be cancelled would be just a mild irritant for us, as we would go on line.
Siri: Yes, I guess if you’re cancelled then you can just not be cancelled anymore if that’s what you decide. Like in movies when someone’s dating someone and then they never appear or are mentioned again, you could just ignore that kind of thing. So if someone says you’re cancelled then you just don’t act on it and don’t mention it again.
Chris: I think this will be an amazing show!
Siri: I think it should be based in Exeter, around a few people that run a hot chocolate cafe. What do you think?
Chris: A hot chocolate cafe is a good one. If it’s cold one week, that’s an episode.
Siri: Of course there’d be a supernatural element to it too. Maybe you get transported to another world when you drink the coffee – like different flavours take you to Hogwarts or Zootropolis? But then again, maybe the supernatural element could just change every episode and be whatever you want it to be, if continuity errors are what you’re aiming for.
Chris: Absolutely! We could even have a season where we change the title slightly so it’s continuity errors and plot holes, so that won’t matter.
Siri: Yeah, I guess the theme tune can change, the cast can change, the name and logo can change… the possibilities are endless. Or you could REALLY cause chaos and not change the logo and theme tune one episode – so every episode you change the opening theme, but one episode you keep it the same as before. I think that would cause major havoc amongst the billions of fans.
Chris: People will be in uproar. We could just kill off their favourite characters, we could bring them back to life… Whatever.
Siri: Yes, people would both love it and hate it. We could torture them by having a horrible episode where the love of the protagonist’s life is clubbed to death, and then the next episode just pretend like it never happened, and they’re as happy as ever. BUT THEN the episode after that we could kill them again!
Chris: So the main character could be Jim then June then Sully then Sally then Fred then Fran then Alex then Jamie for no apparent reason!
Siri: GENIUS. I see no problems whatsoever with this plan.
Chris: And even if you did, Siri, I don’t care, because it’s the worst TV show ever commissioned. It’s like when you’re five and you fold a piece of paper up and draw a bit of a man and pass it onto someone else who also draws a bit of a man, and pass it onto someone else…
Siri: Yes, that’s a perfect analogy. Except I’m marginally offended by you saying “when you’re five…”, my sister and I still play that game.
Chris: Okay, when you’re five or fifty five.
Siri: Much better, thank you! And happy birthday little sister – Alexis, we’ll call you. She’s 19 today.
Chris: From all at Mundanevision!
Siri: I just realised I wrote ’19’ as a number, but ‘five’ and ‘fifty-five’ as words, and I almost changed it but then I thought that goes against the entire founding principle of our show. Also, the first time I wrote ’55’ it was without a hyphen. This continuity error thing is fun.
Chris: Yes, the world has gone mad! There’s now a Monopoly app you can download.
Siri: On your phone? But phones are so much smaller than Monopoly boards?
Chris: Come on Siri, take a Chance. Or should that be Community Chest… No, I’m pretty sure it’s Chance!
Siri: Haha. Okay then, tell me about this game.
Chris: Yes, so. It’s like the board game of Monopoly except on your phone. I don’t understand it, who needs to play Monopoly so badly that they need it to hand every minute of the day?
Siri: Good question, Monopoly is one of my least favourite games. I don’t think anyone has ever finished a Monopoly game (let me know if I’m wrong, readers!). Who do you actually play against on this app?
Chris: You play against other people over wifi.
Siri: So people you know, or is it like Words with Friends can be and that quiz game?
Chris: It’s not like Words with Friends – by the way, Words with Friends is amazing. It’s like a novel you collaborate on.
Siri: Ugh, if only.
Chris: No, so Monopoly you play against people you know on your phone, which I don’t see the point of.
Siri: I guess that’s marginally better than playing it in real life, as you don’t have to do it all in one sitting, it can just go on forever.
Chris: Yes. Okay, we’ve exceeded our word limit, so while I’m sitting with my friend we’ve got to stop writing words. I thank you! Peace.