Closeted Animal Politics

It’s time. To face. The BLOGISODE! Thank you, random voice over man. Hello, welcome to Mundanevision, which is on the World Wide Web. Or, if Trump had his way, the World Wide Wall. Ooh, satire, let’s never speak of this again. 

Chris: Hello Siri.

Siri: Hello Chris, and how are you?

Chris: I am good, thank you. Did you like my introduction?

Siri: I certainly did, and the sloth is looking over and smiling at me as well, so I think he found it funny too.

Chris: He’s looking particularly happy with himself.

Siri: Definitely, it’s his wonderful producing that makes jokes like that so wonderful.

Chris: Well, thank you for backing me up on the intro. I brought a fishing rod into the studio in case I needed to fish for compliments.

Image result for fishing rod

Siri: Never. You’d never have to do that!

Chris: So nice. Are you telling me it’s over fished?

Siri: I suppose I am, yes. What else is going on with you today, Chris?

Chris: What else is going on with me… I’m sitting in a warm studio with you, doing this blogisode, I think that’s it.

Siri: It is nice and warm in here. It’s been raining for hours outside, I suppose we can watch it from the studio’s window.

Chris: Do you think the queen owns the rain? Do you think it’s the rain of Elizabeth the Second?

Siri: Hahahaha, how witty you are today. I say that every blogisode! I think if the swans are the swans of Elizabeth, then the rain can definitely be hers too, so yes, the rain of Elizabeth the Second.

Chris: OR, is it just the sky crying because of Trump?

Siri: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What is this Trump thing? I don’t know a Trump. I’ve never heard of a Trump. What even is a Trump?

Chris: I think he’s the guy that invented the card game. First name Top.

Image result for top trumps

Siri: Oh, can you imagine? What a fantastic world that would be if all Trump had done was invent a fantastic card game. I’ve started to avoid opening the news in the morning to protect my sanity and happiness. What’s been going on today?

Chris: Oh he’s just fired some chief judge because he didn’t agree with him over the ban of immigrants from some Muslim countries.

Siri: What’s really terrifying is that there must be so many people that secretly agree with him. I think my grandparents probably do. It’s just legitimising racism.

Chris: It’s funny how you used to be gay and in the closet, and now you’re a trump supporter in the closet.

Siri: I think that’s a magnificent parallel, except for the fact that the internet is a dangerous place to draw parallels between gay people and Trump supporters.

Chris: No, no, I’m not saying they’re the same. I’m just saying that the closet that used to house them is now housing secret trump supporters.

Siri: I hope they stay inside that closet for a long time, but I think Trump is making it easier and easier to come out of that closet, and maybe chasing the gay people back in.

Chris: I want to be in that closet, it sounds amazing.

Siri: Yeah, let’s go join them, and have a bit of a party. It seems like a safer place than the rest of the world right now.

Chris: Yes. I feel like Trump is being met with a wall of silence by the world at the moment. I like the way that there are two petitions running – one that wants Trump to come, and one that doesn’t want Trump to come, and they’re both up to one million signatures. It’s true, they’ve got an anti-Trump petition and a pro-Trump petition!

Siri: I don’t really know where I stand on that issue to be honest. I obviously don’t agree with what he’s doing, being the liberal that I am, but additionally if we remain friends with him maybe we can slowly talk some sense into him, rather than just completely cutting him out. What do you think?

Image result for burrito sombrero

Chris: Everybody’s making a big deal over the wall he’s building, maybe they’re just building a house – some residence that’s just close to Mexico.

Siri: Maybe, but since he called Mexicans rapists, I feel like it’s unlikely for him to want to build a house very close to them.

Chris: Okay, let’s get off Trump, I’m not a political animal. I wonder what is a political animal? What animal is political?

Siri: There’s something political like about crabs. They seem suspicious and sneaky, and untrustworthy, like politicians.

Chris: And put them in hot water and they have a bad time. They’re always getting into hot water.

Siri: Hahaha! See, there are more parallels between politicians and crabs than the first parallels that spring to mind. I’m sure there are many more parallels between politicians and pigs than just the first that spring to mind as well!

Chris: You mean they’re swine?

Siri: Of course that’s what I meant.

Chris: Let’s leave this political animal discussion.

Siri: Yes. Please.

Chris: That’s a sentence you don’t hear every day!

Siri: Speaking of animals though, it was Chinese New Year over the weekend! It’s now the Year of the Rooster.

Image result for rooster china

Chris:  I knew this, I went and celebrated Chinese New Year with some friends.

Siri: No way! How did you celebrate?

Chris: Tried lots of Chinese New Year food.

Siri: My housemate’s Chinese and she went to celebrations, and I was hoping she’d bring me back some food. BUT SHE DIDN’T. They ate it all.

Chris: Chinese New Year strikes me as kind of smart, so…

Siri: In what way smart?

Chris: Well, coming in slightly later than 2017, and avoiding all it’s pitfalls!

Siri: Smart is definitely the right word!

Chris: Just superior in every respect. I mean, you don’t see the Chinese electing a rooster as head of the state, do you?

Siri: Ahahahaha, you don’t, that’s true. Although the year’s just begun, there’s plenty of time for thousands more pitfalls.

Chris: I don’t know, I think the Chinese New Year is creeping along behind the English one, trying to avoid its mistakes. Sneaky! And, with that, our new blogisode is at an end!

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Every day could be a Mundanevision blogisode day, now that they are posting weekly .So Grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and get comfortable because you're going to read about the least trendy topics.It's a blog you really do want to miss...
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