Hey guys! Welcome to another blogisode of the much under-appreciated Mundanevision! If you like reading blogs, why not read this one? We will talk about fashionable cats on youtube… Let’s do this!
Chris: Hey Siri.
Siri: Good Afternoon, Chris.
Chris: It’s almost like you knew my introduction, because you’re drinking from a cool cat mug!
Siri: I think the cat knew. These cats are geniuses / genii.
Chris: Telepathic cats… maybe!
Siri: I think that’s why the internet is so obsessed with them.
Chris: You mean they’re obsessed with fashionable cats!
Chris: This is Mittens, and she’s wearing the latest Christian Dior black evening dress, available at Debenhams for a purrrrfect £280. There we go, those two lines should keep people happy, and we should get the most likes we’ve ever got for a blogisode.
Siri: Absolutely, all about keeping our readers (or listeners or viewers…) happy, we are!
Chris: It should get even more likes than our movie, the film we did about the recommissioning of the Great British Bake Off after the sugar ban was lifted!
Siri: Ooh, that was a good blogisode though!
Chris: Evidently, now it is the future, because Bake Off is coming back with hosts Noel Fielding and Sandi Tugsvig, who is a Danish pastry!
Siri: That sounds amazing, but surely we don’t want to eat the hosts?
Chris: I don’t know, what happened to Mel and Sue? Why did they not move up to Channel 4? Do you think that after the last episode had closed up, Paul Hollywood ate them?
Siri: It seems like that would be something Paul would do. After being deprived of all the baked goods that the contestants are making, I don’t see that he had any other choice BUT to eat Mel and Sue.
Chris: I think that when they lost their jobs at the BBC, getting the news from the bake off producers was the only thing they wanted to be sugar coated!
Siri: Hahaha! Certainly true. Anyway, what else has been going on today?
Chris: What else? You mean you don’t want to spend the whole blogisode talking about Bake Off?
Siri: I think we’ve already done that… We don’t do repeats, and we’ve already had several blogisodes on the Great British Bake Off, as well as a 3 part movie and then behind the scenes footage and out takes!
Chris: You’re quite right, that’s far too sweet!
Siri: Oh how witty. Never a dull moment in the Mundanevision studios!
Chris: And if there are dull moments, we tell them to get out and stop hanging around us in the studio! In fact, there’s one now. GET OUT YOU DULL MOMENT!
Siri: BAMMM. It’s gone.
Chris: I like the excitable moments much better, but they refuse to sit still.
Siri: It means that they’re always jumping around in the studio, but the fact that the dull moments just mooch around lying there, means that they’re a lot easier to clear away.
Chris: Right, so next up – gosh, we sound like a morning show!
Siri: That can’t possibly be true, it’s afternoon!
Chris: The Afternoon Girls were looking worried! Next up we went to see adult Beauty and the Beast yesterday, and by adult Beauty and the Beast I of course mean King Kong.
Siri: Yes, that was obvious from the description “adult Beauty and the Beast” it’s exactly the same story, just without the rose!
Chris: And it is a tale as old as time, because they made the first Beauty and the Beast years ago, in fact in (insert date here).
Siri: I believe it was 1991 actually. A buzzfeed quiz told me so.
Chris: NO, they’re older than that!
Siri: Well, it must have been based off a story or something? Yes?
Chris: OH, I thought you were talking about King Kong, sorry!
Siri: Ah, yes, I see now. Those must definitely be older. Not that I’ve ever seen any of the non Samuel L Jackson ones! How convincing are the gorillas? Are they humans dressed up? CGI?
Chris: No, claymation!
Siri: Oh cool! And are they as good as the one we saw yesterday?
Chris: I can’t compare Kongs! The Kong would definitely win the fight against other Kongs – they were a lot shorter!
Siri: Yes, that does give him a bit of an advantage, but from my understanding he is in the middle of nowhere, so not really in a position to fight the other ones.
Chris: Or to measure himself!
Siri: So true. Weren’t they in Tokyo or New York?
Chris: Yes, the first one was in New York – he climbed the Empire State building.
Siri: I assume you mean the outside, not the stairs?
Chris: Yes! The outside! If he just went up the elevator it wouldn’t be too dramatic, would it? Waving on the way up! Anyway, I’m sure historians will come to rename the old King Kongs “pre Hiddlestone King Kongs”, as it look like they might be remaking them all.
Siri: Yes, I’m sure historians and scholars spend a large majority of their time debating over what to refer to each movie as. But I liked the Hiddlestone one! It’s the first film I’ve ever seen him in and he was magnificent!
Chris: Do you think King Kong has a dinner gong for when he gets angry?
Siri: Almost certainly. Without a doubt, in fact. We used to have one at boarding school to wake everyone up! I think he probably uses his to demonstrate his anger though. His King Kong Gong.
Chris: Is he a mime now, in your head?
Siri: Definitely not. He is anything but silent, I can still hear his roars – they were so loud they have resonated into today!
Chris: Maybe in the next film Katy Perry should make a cameo as King Kong – you’re going to hear me roar!
Siri: King Kong the Musical would be fantastic!
Siri: I would love to work on that project.
Chris: Maybe we should? [Chris strokes long white beard]. Sorry! This just appears every time I have an idea. Just quickly, before we go, for all the ladies worried about tripping over in high heels, I think they should invent the training shoe. This would be a shoe with two little shoes on either side, just like a training bicycle with two extra wheels – so you’d never fall over.
Siri: Like stabilisers! Literally, stabilisers!
Chris: Yes. Now, am I a genius, or is it the end of the blogisode?
Siri: Does it have to be one or the other? They’re not mutually exclusive.
Chris: No. Or maybe this is just a genius blogisode!
Chris: Well, I’m off to take my idea about shoe-stabilisers to Dragon’s Den. I’m going to take Katy Perry with me, cause they’re going to hear a roar if they don’t like my idea.
Siri: I really think they need to be called Shoebailisers!
Chris: Ah, brilliant! Okay, thanks for reading, listening, watching, tweeting, facebooking, whatsapping, snapchatting, myspacing, instagramming, and doing all the social media things. Peace!