Hey internet! *virtual waving* Much like Steps and The Cranberries and Texas, we have reformed. After an extended Easter period away from you guys, it’s good to be back! Hello, Wembley! Ugh, I just ruined it. It’s just Mundanevision.
Chris: Hey Siri!
Siri: Good afternoon Chris. How has your marvellous Easter been?
Chris: Oh, it involved lots of chocolate, lots of film watching, and lots of despairing at the current political climate.
Siri: So the same as mine then. And the rest of Britain’s.
Chris: I thought of something to say this blogisode, but I don’t know whether it’s too controversial to be said… the reason we’ve been away for such a long time is that we’ve been scaling Trump’s wall, trying to get back in the country… Controversial? You be the judge.
Siri: Not too controversial I don’t think… Hopefully not for our audience, you wonderful people. He’s only kidding anyway guys, we are from Britain, a wonderful place with absolutely no political issues whatsoever!!! Ish…
Chris: What would the equivalent of Trump’s wall be in Britain? Theresa May’s terrace?
Siri: I was thinking far more literally, and I was going to say the English Channel… So I guess we already kind of have a Trump’s wall. Except for boats. And airplanes.
Chris: I can never find the English channel on tv though – there’s loads of them in English, not just one!
Siri: Oh you pedant you. Very true though, we are just really good at finding LOTS of English channels, and surfing them all! If surfing is the right way of putting it…
Chris: What is your opinion of Theresa May’s snap election?
Siri: I think, judging by the state of Corbyn’s Labour party, that it’s a very smart move because I really don’t see the Tories going out of power. What are your opinions?
Chris: I also think it’s a smart move, but I don’t have any political opinions about it. I just think that it is a smart move calling it a snap election, to get loads of young people to vote, like Snapchat! But unlike the content of Snapchat, the content won’t disappear after 10 seconds!
Siri: No, I guess the snap election will disappear after a day instead. So you have no political opinions on it? Are you going to make the most of your right as an over 18 year old Brit, and vote?
Chris: I am going to vote. When do the phone lines open?
Siri: Phone lines open right after the show. If you liked Jeremy Corbyn’s performance, dial the following number. If you think Theresa May stole the stage, try the following number, and for Tim Farron, THE LIB DEM GUY, PEOPLE, phone all the numbers you can. Lib dems deserve more than they got last election. *cries eternally*
Chris: See you in the next series of BRITAIN’S GOT TORY!
Siri: The winner will be announced in a month’s time…
Chris: In the mean time, here’s Ant and Dec in a jungle somewhere!
Siri: Yup, enjoy watching people eat bugs. It will be less upsetting than this year’s politics.
Chris: However, we think Russia might have rigged it, and bugged it in their favour.
Siri: Russia, behind almost everything that goes on in the world. I guess they have kind of been eaten by the monster that they’ve created, in that Trump doesn’t seem to be holding back on military strikes to their allies in the Middle East.
Chris: You mean Trumpenstein?
Siri: Yes… or Frankputin’s monster.
Chris: Right, that’s enough political stuff for this blogisode, except to say that Mark Zuckerberg might be running for president!
Siri: What is the world coming to. It’ll be him v Kanye West at this rate.
Chris: At least as an election candidate he’ll be nice – he’ll have to send a friend request before he gets in.
Siri: I guess that’s true. So vote people! Not necessarily for Mark Zuckerberg, but vote for the Conservatives or Labour or the Liberal Democrats or the Green Party, or the Scottish National Party, or whoever you’d like. Just not Marine Le Pen. Come on France, make better decisions.
Chris: This is an extremely political blogisode.
Siri: Yes, we need to turn to celebrity gossip or SOMETHING now.
Chris: For new readers of our show, how would you describe Mundanevision?
Siri: Yes! Tell us what kind of blog you think we are… and we’re not usually so political… kind of… Also, I guess I can tell you about my journey back from the airport yesterday, and then Chris can come up with some puns for you. So I was on the train, and suddenly we stopped and were stationary in the middle of the English countryside for a few minutes.
Chris: Thank you, great reference, by the way, STATIONary. Is this so that the tea and coffee trolley wouldn’t spill its contents?
Siri: Sadly not, although they didn’t spill their contents, don’t worry, and I even got some free water and a biscuit. It was, instead, because a herd of cows had walked on to the track and were refusing to move! We were stuck there, somewhere beyond bath but not in any town, for over 2 hours.
Chris: Did the cows think they were in first class?
Siri: I think they were probably a bit CHEESED off that they weren’t given first class tickets, maybe that was it?
Chris: Stop yelling train driver, we’re watching a MOOOOOvie!
Siri: Yeah, stop trying to get us to MOOOOOOOve!
Chris: This is UDDERly rivetting.
Siri: Ooh that was a good one, I think I’m out though. Butter luck next time.
Chris: Oooooohhhhh! On the subject of moooovies, I went to see Boss Baby. The new animation from the makers of Shrek.
Siri: And, thoughts?
Chris: It was funny! Alec Baldwin was in the lead role. I didn’t know Trump could act that well.
Siri: Ahahahahaha, I’m kind of hoping that everything he does is an act… We’ll see I guess. How did we drag ourselves back to politics again?
Chris: All roads lead to…
Siri: The utterly black hole of never-ending political depression. A political abyss.
Chris: We can’t leave the blogisode on that note! However, this note: dear mum, daddy says please could you pick up some eggs? Yours sincerely, your son.
However, that one we can. Peace, folks.